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Three Ways to Improve Your Mental Health on Your Own

For Those Looking to Help Their Anxiety and Unhealthy Thought Processes

By Lucy SammonsPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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In that weird gray area where you're not sure you're mentally unsound enough to need a therapist, but you're pretty sure you have some problems that are making your life pretty difficult to live? Join the club! I've struggled with anxiety since I was 12 years old, and it wasn't until I was 18 that I first went to therapy. The following is just a bit of what I learned from my therapy sessions; specifically, it's advice I was given which you can and should practice on your own: no payment to a therapist needed, only a desire to improve your mental health and overall quality of life.

1) Observing Your Thoughts

Thoughts are "sticky." When a thought enters your head, you can follow in on a long train of negativity. For example, you look outside and it's grey and rainy. You think, "Oh man, it's going to be a pain to run errands in this weather, if I put if off we won't have any food for dinner tonight, my roommate won't want to go out to eat in this so she'll be grumpy, it's not going to be a good night, tomorrow is supposed to be rainy again, and this is just November, it's going to be like this all winter," etc. etc.

But you're not a slave to your thoughts. You can choose to step back from your own thoughts and think about your thinking. "My friend hasn't texted me back." I could follow this thought until I'm having an anxiety attack and convinced my friend hates me. OR I could choose to follow one of these thoughts: "It's snowing outside and that's super pretty!" "Wow... remember that time my best friends and I did [fill in the blank]." "I'm hungry, I think I'll see if I have ingredients to make cookies." "I should look and see what movies are coming out soon so my friends and I can do something fun this week." etc. Choose the positive thoughts to stick to.

Sound dumb to you? Remind you too much of when your parents seemed to think a "good attitude" could change literally any scenario? Sure, I would be inclined to agree, but I have personally had incredible success with this. Because it's not so much a mindset of "only positive thoughts!" as, "Hmm, no, I don't feel like thinking about that negative thought right now, I'm going to follow this other train of thought I prefer a lot more."

2) Avoidance Strategies

When we are depressed or anxious, we tend to avoid the situations that make us depressed or anxious. Let's say I said hi to a friend in passing but they didn't say hi back to me. My mind gives me the thought, "she hates me" and I stick to that thought, follow it, and freak out. First mistake. Now I start looking down whenever I walk in crowded places, not meeting people's eyes, because I don't want to experience that again. No one ever says hi to me now, and my depression increases. Second mistake.

Stop avoiding. Stop avoiding situations that make you anxious. Avoidance increases anxiety. This is a proven strategy to conquering a mental illness such as PTSD: the more you face a situation that gives you anxiety, and nothing bad happens, the calmer you will be each consecutive time you encounter that situation.

3) Attentiveness

Not being attentive to your experiences decreases your mental well-being. When you are mentally off, your body recognizes that. It starts to send signals to your brain, "something's wrong." When you avoid facing that, the signals increase. Your body doesn't give up. It keeps trying harder and harder. Craving signals increase when you try to avoid them. When you acknowledge what is going on, your brain gets the "message received" signal, and things taper off dramatically.

Get into the habit of constantly questioning yourself on how you feel. You're anxious. How does being anxious feel? There's a pit in my stomach, my hands are shaking. What exactly does that feel like? It's like there's something weird in my stomach. Kind of like something's fluttering around in there, and something's pressed on my chest. The more you think about and recognize what is happening in your body, the more the pain lessens.

This can help for panic attacks too. Obviously, full-blown panic attacks are too intense for you to be in a stable enough mindset to get to questioning yourself on what it feels like. But for oncoming or less severe panic attacks, ask yourself what exactly you're experiencing. Force your mind to recognize what is going on in your body.

This is almost like a "plan B" to dismissing negative thoughts. If the terrible thought you're having isn't something like "it's rainy outside" but something deep in the mess of "literally everyone hates me," than it's too late to just switch to a new thought. By now you're having physical symptoms of anxiety, and your brain isn't going to calm down unless you acknowledge what is going on in your head. You mind needs to focus on that thought if it's ever going to leave you alone. Question yourself on that thought. Why do I think that all my friends hate me? What proof do I have for that? Etc.

In Conclusion

You are not a slave to your thoughts. Your mind sends you a thought at the gym: I'm tired. I want to go home. You legitimately do not have to do that. Avoid letting your mind label your experiences. Don't let your mind tell you, "I'm anxious." Instead, break that down. Try to get into the habit of breaking down every day experiences. Even saying "I'm cold" is your mind attaching a label. What does cold feel like? Try to notice what all your senses are experiencing at the present notice.

When you feel depressed, don't think, "I'm depressed." Instead, step back. Think, "I'm having a depressed thought." "I'm not anxious. I'm having an anxious thought." Observing, recognizing, and accepting your thoughts is key. The thought "I'm depressed" is overwhelming and terrible. The idea "I'm having a depressed thought" is not quite so scary.

Step back and observe your thoughts. Recognize what you are thinking as a thought, not a feeling. Pay attention to exactly how your thoughts make you feel.

Focus helps mental health. Avoid less. Experience more.

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