The Year of the White Rabbit (4th entry)

by Uneven Mod 21 days ago in addiction

White Rabbit continued...

The Year of the White Rabbit (4th entry)
...

“I'm fine, just a bit stressed out. It was taking sometime to get things back in order. I can promise you an improvement in my overall performance. I almost hit a deer today, swerved and got a flat tire.” I said trying to be as convincing as possible.

“Goddamn Benji! Another deer!?” he exclaimed. Fuck I had forgotten I used that one already. “You really have some terrible luck.” he said, I wasn't sure if he was gullible or just satisfied with any response that kept the meeting going. The meeting kept the same pace as the others, and we exchanged words in a boring volley of trite nonsense. Talking about the weather, and the smell in the company cafeteria after someone recently decided to microwave fish. Eventually we made it to an awkward silence. He looked disappointed, but I was just happy to have an exit from the strenuous task of making small talk. “I guess that's all for today, just think about what we talked about. I'd really hate to see you get fired.” he said I as I exited his office. As I walked away I took a look at everyone in their cubicles. I felt nothing at first, and didn't even venture to guess what their lives were like. It was surreal, I began to feel so alone, and confused about how little I knew about them. They were all individuals, each with a unique perspective on life, with an experience far removed from my own. I began to notice some of them laughing with customers on the other line, some leaning over their desks chatting with co-workers. I hadn't made a single friend in the two years I had been here. I was distracted by something darting past the corner of my eye. It snapped me back into reality. I quickly sat down and proceeded to dive into the backed up queue of phone calls. It was time to do what I did best and weather the storm of geriatric shut-ins, self-entitled shit for brains, and overall fucktards. It was my job to teach them how to use and understand their idiot box, and explain the purposely confusing bills they received. Here I would remain, listening to sob stories, taking in an onslaught of obscenities via my ear canal, and praying for the moment I would be able to clock out as if it were salvation itself. That moment never came soon enough though. I was doomed for the next few hours, well until my break I guess.

My break time was finally here. I grabbed my pill bottle and scowled at the absence of narcotics. By this time it was already dark outside. I rushed out of the door and took in the night air, brisk and clean. The moon hung in the onyx abyss above, accompanied by the glimmering mess of stars that always brought the corners of my mouth heavenward. I was elated. It was as if the first half of my day were wiped away, just redacted from the record. I took my sweet time walking to my car, and with confident, deliberate steps I made my way through the parking lot. As I passed a few more cars I decided to take another turn at a car door handle. Under the anonymizing comfort of the night my game took on a whole new feel. I felt welcome to the call of another person's car, entitled to the contents inside. Three… two… one! Fuck! I tried at another, Three… two… one! FUCK! The car's alarm blazed and cut through the serene melody of crickets and leaves rustling against the concrete. I darted to my car, started the engine, and peeled out before anyone came to see what the commotion was.

addiction
Uneven Mod
Uneven Mod
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
Uneven Mod

My ode to the part of my life I can now move on from. Regardless of what brought you here I hope you leave with something to help you on you path.

See all posts by Uneven Mod