The struggle of Psychosis and obsessive-compulsive disorder

This is my story, and I've decided to share it with people going through mental health struggles. I am not a medical professional; this story is meant to help anyone.

I am writing this story about my diagnosis of psychosis and OCD. All of this started when my mom became ill in 2016. Six years ago, she suffered a brain hemorrhage and the stress of taking care of her caused my mental health isssue. The anxiety I experienced due to my mom's illness became a compulsion. I was so worried that something would happen to her or me. Since then, my life has slowly unravelled. At the time, I was living through a tough time. It hit me like a wave; it didn't know what was wrong with me. I was texting a friend one minute, and the next, I was resending the same message for hours. I avoided doing things I loved because I thought something would go wrong. Seeing images in my eyes, I saw things that weren't there. The shadows were terrifying, and I talked to myself in my head and couldn't tell if it was me or the voices in my head. I couldn't do anything I used to do, hang out with friends, go out to social events, or watch my favourite TV shows; I was depressed. My mental illness made it difficult for me to live everyday life. I was irritable about what I was living through because it kept me on edge, and I didn't feel relaxed or calm. It was tough for me to concentrate because I felt like I was fighting thoughts in my head all the time. Things weren't getting better, so my parents decided to take me to the hospital. I didn't know what was wrong with me at the time. The doctor diagnosed me with psychosis and OCD in response to my symptoms. He offered me medication and therapy, but at first, I refused. Once I got home with the prescription, I researched the drugs and became afraid, so I did not take any medicines in 2018. Instead, I attended a program and hospital day program. Initially, I was a bit nervous, and other people like me went through mental health struggles. After a while, I began to warm up, and I started making friends.  Yet I refused to take medications, which was a wrong decision because, through 2018, my symptoms were getting worse. After a mental breakdown one day, I agreed to take the medicines at the hospital day program. After taking the pill in front of the counsellor, I cried. As I calmed down after taking medication, I waited one week to see if it would work, and after that one week, it didn't. Right then, I knew the drug wasn't for me. I was so upset that I agreed to the medication, but it didn't work. Afterwards, my symptoms started to get worse. I told my counsellor what I was feeling, and my counsellor talked to my doctor, and I was admitted to the hospital. I stayed there for a week in December 2018 and was put through various mediations throughout the week. A week later, I got discharged and went home for Christmas. I kept experiencing symptoms after the holidays because I was on the wrong medication. Throughout December 2018, I was in and out of hospitals. As for 2019, it was a good year because my doctors were finally able to find a medication that worked, but the side effects were restlessness and weight gain. As a result of that, I decided to stop the medication on my own. I recommend that no one does that. Consult your doctor before stopping. When I stopped the medication in 2020, I relapsed, and it took the doctors two years to find the proper medication for me. When 2021 rolled around, I had to be hospitalized again for a week. After my discharge a week later, I was put on the proper medications, and now in 2022, I am happy to say that I have recovered and my symptoms have improved.  I am working on myself every day and getting better and better each day. What really helped me out wasn't only finding the right medication but also being able to talk to someone, like a counsellor and attending groups. lastly, I can assure you that it will get better if you struggle right now. Never feel ashamed of the person you are. Also would like to mention, my mother is doing very well in 2022. She is recovered and I am so happy for her.