Psyche logo

Past to Present

by Cade Bowen 4 years ago in ptsd

Always heal yourself before others.

One day there was a girl who thought she put her past behind her and moved forward. Until one day everything changed.

Twenty-seven year old Nicole graduated from college. She earned her undergraduate degree and her doctorate in psychology. She wanted to become a therapist for kids. She had a life connection of growing up with no parents. She spent seven years in college and Nicole was positive that this is what she wanted to be. She wanted to help kids that didn't have parents.

So one late afternoon she went for a job interview at Lakeside Therapy for Children. The job interview went great. She became a therapist for children.

Nicole walked into work on her first day and loved it. She met new children that she could relate to and help them understand about their parents.

After many months working there, Nicole felt like she could fit in because of seeing the same children everyday and putting a smile on her coworker's face with how well she was doing.

Nicole had a best friend named Nikki. Nicole wanted Nikki to stop by at her job to see her. Nikki agreed for later that day at 1:00 pm to drop by and have lunch. Nicole waited all day for Nikki to stop by. There was no Nikki insight. So Nicole went into her office and called Nikki to see where she was.

“Hey Nikki where are you?” Nicole said.

“What address did you give me?” replied Nikki.

“I told you. I'm working on Elm Street Route 100, the first green building you come to on the left.” said Nicole.

“Please tell me you're joking Nicole.”

“Nikki I'm not joking that’s where I'm at.”

“Nicole I’m telling you I'm sitting in front of the green building and the sign says Lakeside Therapy for Children. But the place is closed down, the grass is grown in and the concrete steps are falling apart. Are you sure its this place?”

Nicole instantly hung up and ran outside of her office and saw that there was none of her coworkers and everything looked like a dump and cobwebs everywhere. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She closed her eye tight and she reopened her eyes to the same sight.

Nicole ran into her office to call Nikki back. As she opened her office door there was nothing but a blank room with no desk or couch inside. She asked herself if she was dreaming.

She ran to the exit as quick as she could but it appears the building has changed. Nothing but long hallways cold, wet and silent. Nicole was never scared until now.

As Nicole started down the blank unfamiliar hallways, she dropped to her knees crying. Nicole eventually got herself together again. Nicole started walking down the hallway, turned to her right and noticed the exit. Nicole smiled and screamed as she ran to the exit. She bursted through the door and there she was in a white bright room.

She puts her hands and elbows up to her eyes to block the brightness of the light. Wham, everything goes black. Nicole starts crying and screaming. She tries to get her eyes to try and focus through the dark. She looks across the room to see a little red blinking light. As she walks over to a old telephone it begins to ring loud as loud can be. Nicole jumps. She walks over and answers it.

“Hello?” shouts Nicole.

“Whats wrong? It's Nikki.”

“What do you mean what's wrong? You were supposed to be here and now this place is creepy and I can't find an exit. I need help Nikki.”

“What are you talking about.? I saw you yesterday and we had lunch. You need to calm down. Send help? Where are you.?”

“Are you not listening to me or anything? I’m saying I’m trapped at my work. There’s crazy things happening to me. You called me and told me my work closed. I don't understand. Send help please Nikki it is not funny.”

“I called 911 they are heading to you.“

“Thank god. Thank you. Please stay on the phone with me I'm so scared.”

“I will don't worry I promise I'm so scared for you Nicole.”

“Me too, I don't know what the heck is going on. I just want to get out of of this place. I thought this was my work. I’m somewhere different. This place changed. No one's here.”

“They just called me back on my boyfriend's phone and they said they are at the residence and no one is there. Is this some sick joke because they are going to think I’m crazy. Where are you at?“

Nicole drops the phone and there it is dangling from the desk with Nikki shouting repeatedly yelling out to Nicole. Nicole walks away and hurtles up in a corner and begins to cry. She cries herself to sleep.

She then awakes in her bed, with white clean sheets and a very soft cushiony pillow that brings her home comfort. The smell of clean washed blankets and the smell of cinnamon bun from the wax burner. Nicole then realizes she's in her old room of her parents house when they were alive. She jumped up and ran to her parents' room to see them one last time. There stood before Nicole. The woman she was needing to see for many years. Nicole begins to cry in happy tears trying to hug her mother. Nicole looks over to her left of where her parents' bathroom was and sees the mirror. She sees herself at six years old holding her mother with her arms so tight around her. She then froze and closed her eyes so tight to see if this was all a dream. When she opened her eyes, she found herself still at her old job in the corner of a dark scary room. Nicole screamed and couldn't take it anymore. Nicole started banging her head against the wall crying. She was so confused and hurt with what had just happened. Then Nicole slams her head so hard everything goes black.

She wakes in a hospital with nurses standing around her. It's all blurry so she can't make out their faces. She focuses on the one big light in front of her. As she's laying on the hospital bed, all she could hear was her name being called out repeatedly. While her name's being called out, it's so faint and she can't respond. Then moments later a mumble comes from Nicole's lips and says “Am I safe?”

A nurse replies back, “Yes you're okay. You're with us now. You have been going through a lot. I need you to relax.”

“Am I out of that crazy place?” Nicole asked.

The nurse steps back for the doctor to come in front of Nicole to explain to her what’s going on. “Nicole, my name is Keith and I'll be your doctor. What’s going on with you Nicole is that you're suffering from emotional and psychological trauma also with PTSD. You're going through what we call a set back. You're going crazy in your own mind because of what you've been blocking. You have never gotten help for any of this. But we are here now to help you. Be careful, don't try and move as much, you smashed your head through the window in your office.”

Tears started to roll down her face. She asked the doctor, “What could have triggered this?”

Keith responded, “From you not getting the healing that you needed. You went through trauma when you were a kid. You never got yourself cleared. You helping these kids set you backwards.”

Nicole cried out, “I know. I wanted to help kids. I believe all of this now. I awoke in my room from when I was little and ran up to my mom and hugged her so tight. I could remember her white rain perfume that she would always wear. I could smell the wax burners that she had put through all the house. The smell of cinnamon bun. She was so obsessed with the smell. I remember I always would never want smell that again. Until I went back and smelled that and it brought me comfort. I've missed that smell for many years.”

The doctor replied, “I'm so sorry Nicole for what's happened, so just lay down and we will run some tests on you to help you out. Everything will get better. Get some rest now.”

Nicole thought she could change the world and forget her past and move forward. But it eventually caught up to her. Now she’s getting the help that she needs and now has a waitressing job. Nikki wants to continue helping with kids till she's clear with her therapy.

ptsd

Cade Bowen

Receive stories by Cade Bowen in your feed
Cade Bowen
Read next: PMDD & The Holidays

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2021 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.