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My Personal Advice for Dealing with Depression

A list of 10 tips that have helped me through my bad depressive episodes

By Thorn DeathPublished 2 years ago 8 min read
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        We hear about mental illnesses often enough to know what they are and the problems they can cause. Often times, you'll hear advice telling you what you can do to push it to the side or get rid of it completely. A lot of times though, from what I've seen, this is just a ploy to get money or to get you to take some experimental drug. Or it's superficial advice about how losing weight will solve your problems. So I'm going to try to give you some advice that might actually help you.

        I'm not going to pretend like I'm a professional in the mental health field or like I know everything about these kind of illnesses. However, in the eighteen years that I have struggled with depression and known people who have, I've managed to pick up a few tips that have helped both me and my friends. If you know them already and they don't work for you, that's alright. That's how it is sometimes. However, if you've never tried these or you think they might help, I suggest giving it a shot and hoping for the best. I wish the best of luck to everyone.

1. Exercise

        Yes, it sounds cliche. Almost everybody and their ancestors will tell you to exercise because it will cure you. That's not true, and I'm not going to pretend it is. I don't believe it can really cure you. However, in my experience, exercising (specifically walking while listening to music) distracts my brain. It gets me focused on something other than how I feel or what I'm thinking. I have to focus on where I'm going and I'm listening to the music, so it gives me less space to hear the bullshit my brain is spewing. Even if I'm only walking from point A to point B and back again for fifteen minutes, it usually helps enough that I can relax.

2. Art

        Be it painting, singing, writing or something, I find that creative arts are a wonderful distraction. It can be a good way for one to get their emotions out and still do something they enjoy. Usually my writings when I'm depressed are upsetting, such as As The World Fades to Black which is about domestic abuse, but they still help me get those emotions (and my own trauma) out in a healthy way. By the end, I'm either feeling better or I'm significantly less depressed. I feel more stable rather than chaotic.

3. Candles/Wax cubes/Incense/Essential oils

        AKA 'smell goods'. Will they make the emotions go away? No, not usually. But they can help change the atmosphere in your room and make it feel more calming. This is particularly good if you're feeling anxious or having a panic attack. However, they can still help if you're feeling depressed. If the atmosphere feels calm, it can get your brain to relax. If the brain relaxes, so do the thoughts and feelings. It might not work everytime, but when combined with something else, it can make your fight against the illness stronger.

4. Self-care

        Again, sounds a little cliche, but it makes a great distraction. Think about it - you've spent the past month in bed feeling like a bag of nothing. You're sad, you feel gross, you probably smell gross, and your clothes might need to be washed. So you very reluctantly pull yourself up. You throw a load of laundry into the wash, even if it's just a shirt and a pair of sweatpants, then force yourself to shower. Are you depressed in the shower? Probably, maybe you even cry a little. But you decide that you want to be gentle with yourself. So you get out, put on an outfit that usually makes you feel good. You light a candle, put on a favourite movie (I suggest a comedy), maybe play some music, then sit down with a favourite snack. You eat, you watch TV, maybe you moisturise or do your nails. You enjoy your own company for a while. A lot of times, slowing down and being gentle like that helps.

5. Getting something done

        This one is tricky because sometimes finishing a chore can make one feel agitated or more depressed, but if you're someone like me, chances are this might help. Whenever I feel like I'm losing control to the depression, I like to clean and rearrange furniture. Sometimes I'll do the dishes or I'll vacuum. I keep myself moving and making things look nice. It makes me feel like I finally accomplished something - which kills off the thoughts that I'm a lazy POS.

6. Cry (and/or scream)

        You have to be careful with this one if you live with other people or have a lot of neighbours, but screaming can help deflect those emotions, especially if the depression is being brought on by anger, frustration, or being overwhelmed. I personally like to scream into a pillow when my door is closed that way my grandparents can't hear me. However, if screaming isn't an option (or you don't want to hurt your vocal chords), simply crying can be good too. When I know I have to cry before I lose my shit, I like to listen to a sad song or just get lost in the depressive thoughts for a few minutes. I'll let myself cry for a while, then I'll wipe the tears away, take some deep breaths, and remind myself that I'm okay. If I still feel depressed but I know it helped a little, I'll do it again until I feel like it's all out of my system. Combining this with positive affirmations when you're done can also help out a ton.

7. Meditate

        Yes, seriously. Meditation is usually described as just being the practice of controlled breathing and acknowledging thoughts before letting them go. Because of this, I find it to be good for dealing with depressive episodes. I'll lay on my floor, put on some music or a guided meditation, close my eyes, and just breathe. Any thoughts that come to mind get a small amount of attention, then I push them to the side and ignore them. It takes a while, but I'll finally be able to clear my mind. It helps me come down a little bit and stabilise, which is always what I'm going for.

8. Call or message someone

        It feels obvious, but I've noticed that a lot of people don't like to reach out to anyone when they're feeling depressed. A lot of the time, they feel like they're being a burden somehow. If you're like that, I would like you to know that's not true. Reaching out isn't a sign of weakness or anything; it's a step in the right direction. A lot of people don't mind listening to their friends vent about their feelings. And if you don't feel comfortable telling someone how you're feeling, just talk to them about a common interest or something you usually discuss. Either way is fine just as long as it works for you. And yes, a hotline is more than acceptable if your friends are all in bed.

9. Go out

        Go to a friend's house, a park, a store, or even just outside for a while. You don't have to go far or do anything crazy, but just getting out of the house and switching up your scenery a bit can help you feel better sometimes. Base it off of what you feel like doing. For instance, if your friend asked you to a party and you said you didn't want to go because you were sad, maybe you could shoot them a message and see if the invite still stands. It depends on what kind of person you are, of course, but something like that can help you out every once in a while.

10. Go fuck yourself

        Literally. I haven't done this one myself, but I was talking to a friend about how I was feeling once and she told me to. I ended up laughing so hard that I was able to ignore the thoughts enough to get out of bed which helped me fight off the depression, which in itself was good. But anyway if you have a high sex drive and you don't mind a little self-love while depressed, apparently it can help your mood. From what I've been told, it gets all the happy hormones moving and they kick the depression hormones out.

        As I said at the beginning of this, I'm not a mental health professional. If you don't feel like these are going to help you, that's okay. No treatment, trick, tip, or advice is one-size-fits-all. The best thing to do would be to talk to somebody who knows you and mental health well enough to find a solution that would work specifically for you and your needs. I hope any of this helps, and that it gets better for us all soon. It'll get better, that I'm sure of.

depression
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About the Creator

Thorn Death

"Here lies a resting place for dark minds."

Sharing my stories, articles, and photographs

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