I was completely lost before 2020 and during 2020 for that matter. I was in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship, I hated my job, I transferred to something different and hated it more. I was to the point that I felt imprisoned every single day. I was in a constant see-saw of anxiety and depression and I had no option to get out because I had bills and I had to work.
I looked for other jobs but I couldn’t find anything and then the pandemic happened. I was sent home to work temporarily. I decided to sell my home and acreage which I had some equity in and find something smaller with less land. I was glad to get rid of the house which had been a huge money pit but I really hated to get rid of my beautiful pasture land with fruit trees and fencing. I had planned to build my dream house there one day soon with my future loving husband which had so far never came. I decided to cut my losses and get out. I was in credit card debt from the money pit house and the equity that I di have in it would pay my credit cards off, pay my car off and put a small down payment on a new home.
By the end of April 2020, I had finally found a new home that I could afford and I prayed for the end of the month to come with no more problems or issues because I was ready to shed this house in the country and move to town so I would finally have fast and reliable internet too. Finally, everything fell into place and I was able to close on the house and get moved. I quit my job in May after I had it with my manager talking down to me and treating me like crap. I had just tested positive with Covid-19 and was told that we would start back at work the next week but we would only be working for half of our pay each week. I had enough savings now that I could take time off and look for a decent job so I took the change and turned in my resignation. I spent a week in bed sick with my dog Lucy next to me.
This entire time I was also attending school full-time to get my bachelor’s degree. Meanwhile, I was also having ups and downs with my boyfriend. He of course always blamed me with everything and had me completely believing that I was completely crazy, that I made a huge mistake quitting my job, that everything bad happened because I was crazy and it was ALL my fault. I was so stressed about finding a job that I ended up taking a job in July paying less and somehow it was even more toxic than my last job. I was so stressed and anxious that I guess my immune-system was non-existent because I ended up with Covid-19 again by August. The new workplace refused to let me come back to work for a week and a half (without pay, of course) and then fired me for being out sick with Covid-19.
My boyfriend again told me how crazy that I supposedly was and that I was going to fail at everything, blah, blah, etc. Even though I had helped him find a better job and had written him a cover sheet and resume that got him hired. I was really depressed during this time and I did briefly consider suicide. But then I got strong again and I broke it off with my abusive boyfriend for good this time. In October, I was considered for a good-paying job that would mean that I could work remotely, full-time from home. I had become more anti-social and agoraphobic in the past 6 months so I really wanted to work from home more than ever.
I got the job by mid-October and I was beyond elated! It was the best paying job that I had ever had and it was because of my past healthcare experience and working in the medical field. I loved the job and I found that I could actually lose weight now easier because I was no longer stress-eating from a job that I hated and I was cooking and eating at home now. I was saving lots of money from eating at home, not having to buy clothes and saving money on gas too.
I can honestly say that like most everyone else, the year 2020 was horrible and was a big turning point in a lot of different ways. One thing that I am very thankful for was the increased opportunities to work from home now and work remotely because of the pandemic. I realized that my anxiety and depression was much better being on my own and not having to deal with dramas or conflicts within an office or having an overbearing manager trying to micromanage me or constantly yelling at me and everyone else. I am never going to work in a toxic environment again and I hope to be able to continue to work from home from now on. I will have my bachelor’s degree later this year and I am so thankful to have gotten rid of both a toxic relationship and a toxic work environment in 2020.