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Most recently published stories in Psyche.
Random Prompt (Writing on Your Feet)
Prompt: You are a brand new suicide hotline counselor. Describe how you feel during your first call. She's crying. Still crying. I'm not supposed to cry. I mute the headset to blow my nose and take a few deep breaths. Unmute. I tell her to pull over. She can't. She's on the highway. She gets off at the next exit and pulls into a gas station. I tell her to park where it's lit and to lock her doors. Does she feel safe there? Yes, she feels safe. She's still crying but I can understand her better now. I had gotten bits and pieces before. A boyfriend. Fighting. Getting hurt. Wanting to leave him, no, kill him, or herself. I speak calmly as my hands shake like they're on a wooden rollercoaster, hoping my voice doesn't match. What happened? You fought. Fistfight. Okay. He hit you. A lot. You think you're okay. You want to kill him or yourself. It's easier to kill yourself. He's big, strong, won't go down easily. She's starting to get hysterical again as she relives the fight. I stop her. Tell her to take a breath. I breathe with her. I need it as much as she does. I take a sip of coffee. It makes me think when has she last eaten? I ask her. She can't remember. I tell her to go into the convenience store and get something to eat and drink. Whatever her favorites are. She keeps me on the line but doesn't talk. I mute the mike and take another sip of coffee, hoping to calm my nerves and crunch on a chip. Let the salt sit on my tongue and breathe it in. She's back in her car with a root beer and Reese's peanut butter cups. I hear the bottle hiss open. She's chugging, I stop her. Tell her to sip. Savor. Let it sit in her mouth and feel the bubbles. I hear her breathe and swallow hard. She takes deep breaths and then belches loudly. I snigger without thinking and freeze with my hand over my mouth. Eyes wide with fright and disappointment in myself. I hope I didn't upset her. She laughs too. My shoulders sigh relief. She admits she doesn't drink a lot of soda because it makes her burp so. I tell her I have the same issue. We laugh. I tell her to eat and drink slowly and mindfully. Think back to the last happy time she had a root beer or a Reese's. She tells me about her mom. Then her brother. A trip to the zoo. I let her talk, occasionally stating something small to let her know I'm still listening. I am listening to her story, but I'm also listening to the inflections in her voice. A crack or a pause, anything that might lead her back to her current dilemma. I don't want that. I'm prepared to redirect. I don't need to. Her voice is calming. Her breathing is regular. A few more burps and giggles. She's feeling better. I'm feeling better. She says she wants to kill him. That was out of the blue! She's calm! Then she says it would be easier to kill herself. She's thinking about this rationally. Well, rationally in her head. I ask her why she would want to do either. She says she needs to get out and away. She's afraid if she leaves he'll find her. I tell her about restraining orders and protection. She was never sure it would work. I tell her I will help her get away. I will help get in contact with the right people. She is grateful but still thinks it would be easier to drive head-on into a semi-tractor trailer. I tell her if she does that, he wins. She's silent. I hear her bite her Reese's. She's thinking. She asks why he would win. I tell her because you did it because of him. You would have ended your life because of him. He gets to live and do this to another girl. But, if you live, thrive, get a restraining order, go to the police, he will be punished for his actions. Held accountable. You will be safe. She thinks about this. I hear her take a sip of root beer. I mute and crunch a chip in anxiety. I just got her calm, eating, and talking about good memories. Yet she still wants to end everything. I want to hug and shake her at the same time! She asks where she would go. I ask if she has any friends or family that he's not familiar with. She says she has never introduced him to her parents. He knows about them, but not where they live. They live in the next state over. I ask her if she's able to make the drive. She says yes. I tell her to fill up, get some more snacks for the trip and head out. She isn't sure. She's silent. I hear the door ding. I call her name, ask what she's getting from the store. She says some more snacks. I mute myself and listen to make sure she's doing what she says. My heart is pounding. I want her to make the right decision. Don't walk into highway traffic. Please. Please! The door to the convenience store dings, my body sinks into my chair with relief. I hear her walk around the store and fill a basket. The clerk asks her a question, I can't hear it. She says she's going on a long trip. She's excited. She's going to see her parents. The clerk sounds happy for her. When she gets back in the car she asks if this is the end of our conversation? I tell her if she wants it to be. I will stay on with her as long as she needs. She's happy about that and I stay on the line.
Jennifer RPublished 2 years ago in PsycheDepression and Evolution
As humans, we often hold ourselves above most other animals in the world, as if we are somehow inherently more special or more important, but the fact is that we are victims to evolution just as much as anything else. The human genus, homo, developed from the Australopithecus genus, and over a few million years came to encompass nine currently known different human species, like the Homo neanderthalensis, Homo erectus, and of course Homo sapiens.
Tim BeckerPublished 2 years ago in PsycheLiving with AS
February 10, 2022 Nothing special about waking up today, like most days I woke up in a mood and that mood is not a pleasant one. Having ankylosing spondylitis is no pleasure cruise. Everyday is a challenge physically, mentally and spiritually.
E.D. KeefePublished 2 years ago in PsycheWhy was I so obsessed with horror as a young child?
I remember watching my first horror movie when I was somewhere between 7 and 8 years old; it was very late and I just stumbled upon a movie called "The Grudge". While I covered my eyes for most of the scary moments, I could not help but watch. I was hooked! I am almost certain my mom was asleep during the time I watched it, so it was no fault of her parenting that I ended up watching a very scary movie late at night, I was just a sneaky and curious kid.
Dovile MiliauskaitePublished 2 years ago in PsycheThe struggle of Psychosis and obsessive-compulsive disorder
This is my story, and I've decided to share it with people going through mental health struggles. I am not a medical professional; this story is meant to help anyone.
The World, through the Lies of an Addict
“The World, Through the Lies of an Addict” Obviously no two addicts are the same, yet we all share several common denominators. For starters, we all somehow ended up believing in order to avoid life’s problems, low points, and just feeling sad we could just simply self medicate. For some that’s through a prescription pad and a doctor’s signature. For others, it’s through a street level drug dealer and for the remaining, it’s a combination of both. Nonetheless, we’ve been taught since a young age that mental illness is real, and there’s no shame in seeking help when you no longer feel like you can go on. Is this true? Absolutely! But, where does the line get drawn? For instance, I lose my job, go through a divorce, and just have an overall negative outlook on life. I no longer can get excited about anything, I lack motivation to change the way things are going, and I just feel defeated! Understandably those events would typically be enough to depress anyone. Shouldn’t we be depressed about things of this nature mounting in our life? So, there lies the question for me, when do we use those shortcomings and depressing times as motivation to do better? Anyone should be depressed for good reason under certain circumstances.. Or when do we say oh your life is complicated because of choices and decisions you're making so here’s a pill to help you not feel the emotion it’s putting on you? It’s hard to draw a line as to where just dealing with life and learning to overcome obstacles and tribulations. And also when to medicate in order to not have to feel so much pain from our current circumstances? The answer? No one knows, that is because everyone's mind is different, it handles and views things from their own perspective. You develop coping mechanisms and ways to deal with emotional, impactful events in your life. Unfortunately, when you start self medicating pre-teen to early teen you never learn a lot of basics you need to understand and cope with the situation.
Zach BrubakerPublished 2 years ago in PsycheThe Ego
At one point in the summer of 2012, I found myself lying on an old, torn up green couch in the living room of my friend’s shadowy apartment. Six or seven people I knew meandered about the room, dragging their feet as slow as their words and having conversations and arguments about absolutely nothing. Lying there, half of my face buried in the warmish cushion I remember moving my eyes toward a heavy curtain hung in front of a sliding glass door that led to a small patio, and staring at a pin hole that let a perfect streak of sunlight pierce itself on to the carpet. As I watched a small brown spider walk through the beam and then slowly disappear, I couldn’t help but relate to him in a way; Walking in circles, maybe never having known that there exists a far bigger world not a few feet away from him, yet remaining either too weak to truly attempt an escape or too fearful of the warmth of the sun, we both remained meekly incarcerated.
Harper RileyPublished 2 years ago in PsycheSave Me From My Feelings
My mind use to be a place where I could be myself. Free of judgement, a way to escape the world I didn't want to be in. I was a spring growing up, I was strong, resilient, enpowered. Everything bad that had happened to me I was able to spring back like it never happened, while still trying my hardest to keep everyone around me happy. But when something really bad happened to me, this time I didn't spring back as much as I normally do. I wasn't able to use my own mind to escape...my mind had started changing, The grass was dying, the sun was going down for once, everything was being turned upside down. My mind was blue, but it was becoming black.
How I tapped 7 Spiritual Laws of the Universe to Get Sober and Be Whole.
Women drink primarily to change our inner world. To drown out the voice inside that tells us we aren’t good enough. Not thin enough. Not smart enough. Not young enough. Not fill-in-the-blank enough.
Kay AllisonPublished 2 years ago in PsycheTop-Notch Inpatient Drug Rehab in Sioux City, IA
Inpatient drug rehab in Sioux City, Iowa is a great place to start your journey to recovery. It offers a wide variety of treatment options for people suffering from addiction. Most of these programs use a combination of traditional and innovative methods to help their clients overcome their issues. There are also many options for payment, including sliding fee scales and private health insurance. If you do not have insurance, you can also apply for a recovery voucher and other state funds. The treatment center will be able to direct you towards a financing option.
Chase WhitenerPublished 2 years ago in PsycheWhy Willpower Won’t Work When Trying to Stop Drinking
Willpower is a wimp. A wuss. A weakling. And a liar. Do NOT believe the lie that you can quit anytime you want. And on your own.
Kay AllisonPublished 2 years ago in PsycheLooking into an Inpatient Drug Rehabilitation Treatments in La Puente California
If you are struggling with substance abuse, you may want to consider seeking treatment in an inpatient drug rehab in La Puente, CA. These facilities specialize in treating people with addictions, and each one has its own set of treatment programs. This makes the choice of the best facility for you even more important. A therapist will treat the brain after the person has completed a thorough drug detox. Here are some tips for finding a good program in La Puente, CA:
Elenore BurchillPublished 2 years ago in Psyche