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Habits That Help Me Pull My Life Back Together

Start small.

By Ariel JosephPublished about a year ago 5 min read
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Habits That Help Me Pull My Life Back Together
Photo by Ravi Pinisetti on Unsplash

Grief took me out for almost a year.

My life began to fall apart in ways I completely expected.

This isn't the first time my emotions have lead to setbacks in my life. After all, I'm human. It's taken me a long time to accept that when this happens it does no good to beat myself up over it, or be angry at the time I lost just sitting with my pain. The best thing to do is accept that it happened, and finally once the dust settles and I'm good and ready, start to slowly put my life back together again, piece by piece, always hoping the latest event will see me build back stronger.

These are the basics. The little habits that I find once I have put back together everything else seems to fall into place much easier. It's probably a cliché list. The same things you've heard again and again, but sometimes I find when I'm in a tough emotional place I forget the basics and everything feels harder. If there's anyone out there who's been in this position or still is, hopefully this list will help you the way it's helped me.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to replace the advice of a healthcare professional.

Exercise

I know, it's hard. In general it's hard to exercise. Exercising when your upset and barely want to move seems impossible, but as soon you can manage it, I find getting back to physically moving is important. It also builds the discipline that I need to accomplish anything else.

This can be anything. When I first started moving again I chose walking, because I like to walk, because it's easy, because you can do anything else while doing it, indoors, outdoors, whatever.

5,000/steps a day. You can accomplish this inside an apartment. Within 30 minutes.

Maybe that doesn't seem like a lot. Experts I've heard say 10,000 steps, but I say when you're starting from the beginning or starting over, start small and start achievable.

Maybe you like yoga, or pilates or just turning on some music and dancing. Maybe it's actually at a gym. Whatever you can manage, whatever feels doable, do it.

Will it physically make you feel better? Probably. For me, it's all about the other benefits. I sleep better, I digest my food better and best of all, it reminds me that no matter what I'm going through if I can do this one difficult thing, and commit to it, I can probably do more.

Sleep

Now I know, shouldn't sleep be first? Well I don't know I'm not a doctor, probably.

But it's on this list second for a reason. Exercise helps me sleep, very simply because I'm actually tired.

Even with regular exercise I find still at times no matter how tired I am my mind will run wild at night preventing sleep, but I still try to find a sleep routine.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time basically every day. This is still one of the hardest things to maintain as I find that any slight variation in my schedule can completely throw me off track. But I will keep trying and exercising or cutting caffeine after a certain hour or trying whatever it takes to make sure I'm getting enough sleep. It helps my general outlook, at least in a small way, when my mind is actually rested.

Connecting With Myself

Find what works for you. Maybe this is journaling, maybe it's yoga or meditating. Maybe it's cheating like the ever efficient me and choosing to do yoga specifically because you know it might help you meditate at the same time on accident. Maybe it's a combo of all those things or something completely different.

Whatever it is for you, find something that gives you an opportunity to check in with yourself and assess where you are today, maybe compared to yesterday or last week, or maybe just live in the moment and acknowledge whatever the day brought and accept that for what it was.

Affirmations

Say something positive.

Repeat it to yourself. Every day.

You can't control how the world will treat you, but you can always start your day by being a little nice to yourself, even if you don't believe the things you are saying yet.

Yes it feels silly, but that's okay. It still makes me giggle to stare at myself feeling awkward and say something nice, and then even visualize it. But I know, this is my moment to experience kindness and positivity. It could very well end up being the only moment of the day I have like that. It means something to every day experience a moment where something nice was said to me, even if I have to say it to myself.

Creative Expression

Even if you don't fancy yourself a creative do something that makes you feel expressive.

Sing, even if you don't think it sounds good. Dance, by yourself if you're embarrassed for others to see you. Write. If you're here you must at least somewhat enjoying reading. Try to create something with words yourself. Everyone has a unique point of view worth sharing.

Whatever it is, find it and do something that reminds you that you are a human with emotions and if you don't allow them an outlet they will find a way out eventually.

Forgiving Myself

I saved the hardest for last. It's something I'm trying to incorporate a little more every day. A little more kindness to myself.

I tried something and maybe I failed at it, but at least I tried it.

I did something today, even if it wasn't all the things I wanted.

I care about people, even if I'm not always the best at showing it.

I'm trying to be a better human, little by little every day and sometimes bad things in life just happen no matter how hard you try.

Forgive yourself. And keep moving, however you can.

copingselfcareadvice
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About the Creator

Ariel Joseph

I love to write pretty much everything and anything, except a profile page bio.

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