Bit of an Intro

I'm an anxious person. Diagnosed, as a matter of fact! I have various other issues, some diagnosed, some self-diagnosed, some physical, some mental. Debilitating issues. My life is pretty easy, despite that. I have a good supports, I good job, and a rich inner life. My parents had me when they were young, and I was an only child; I like to joke that I was a middle-aged woman before I turned 19. I now know that all of those ways that I rushed to grow up were just a way for me to feel safe and in control of my life. Lately, I've been working on letting go.

Personally, I think all that makes me the ideal model for pandemic life. The anxiety gives me a leg up, because my brain was basically built for this. I'm constantly thinking of added layers of stress in every situation, so worrying about cleanliness, masks & distancing is no problem. The cocktail of mental illness I have gives me pretty poor self-esteem, so wearing a mask is just my favorite thing ever. Makes me less recognizable, more secretive. Cover up those insecurities! I always wanted to be a spy, didn't you? And I've lived through prolonged trauma before. When I first did it, I didn't really know how to healthily respond. I was stuck in a trauma response for a long, long time (think: years). Now, I like to think I know better. So while others are like a fish out of water in their trauma responses (my past self included, so no shame if that is you), thinking that you're getting by, just know that this fish learned how to breathe the air. And maybe I can help you?

Another thing that really helps: pets. My little family includes a cat and a dog, and they're both untrained therapy animals. To top it all off, I love being alone. Love it. I must say, I got pretty lucky to be quarantined and stuck with my husband. I so enjoy his company, and it was nice to get so much extra time with my best friend and our fur babies. I love alone time, but I wouldn't have done well completely by myself.

I've started learning about astrology. Very, very slowly. To be quite frank, I can't tell if I use it as a tool to control my anxiety or spiraling thoughts, or a way to blame my moodiness. My Sun is in Cancer, giving me my nurturing, "mom friend' vibe. My Moon is in Scorpio, which is where my dramatic flair comes from. There are more, of course. I'm also into Human Design, Life Path, personality tests, things lie that. Obsessed with learning more about myself and my fellow travelers. Start a conversation with me if you would like to know. Or if you want my co-star username ;)

Love,

L