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Anxiety

My Story (with a Little Introversion)

By Moonlit Sky.Published 5 years ago 3 min read
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So, I have a form of anxiety. I have not been to a doctor or therapist about it, so I can’t say for sure what type it is. But here is my situation.

My anxiety can work in weird ways, and of course it depends on the situation and environment I’m in, or about to be in. For a couple examples, I sometimes don’t like going out on my own. I would probably never go to the movies by myself, or sit down in a restaurant and eat by myself. In fact, I did a similar thing in University where I would only eat if I was sitting with someone else or in a very secluded area. Thankfully, I usually had a friend to sit with or an afternoon class was in a much less traveled area. But, in other cases, I used to really dislike even going to the store by myself. For reasons I’m still not sure about, I just did not like going out in public without someone with me. There was one time when I put on a little makeup, got dressed, drove to the grocery store, then sat in the car for about 20-30 minutes because I just could not convince myself to go inside. Other examples, I do not like arriving at someone’s house for a get-together or party let’s say, and being one of the last ones to arrive. Similar to how I used to get to classes as early as possible so I didn’t have to walk in front of everyone and have them stare at me. It’s human nature to do so, but I avoided the eyes as much as possible. Also one of the reasons I preferred sitting in the back of the class, people can’t watch me, but I can watch them.

Sometimes my anxiety acts up while driving as well, nothing that has caused an accident, but I have a habit of waiting longer than I need to before joining traffic. I used to avoid the major highway in my area for this reason because I didn’t like driving so fast and having to merge with traffic. Actually, I didn’t really like driving at all. One of the reasons I loved taking the bus to work and back. Plus you know, napping opportunities.

My anxiety shows in other ways, but sometimes I’m not sure whether a good cry is because of anxiety or just a much needed emotional release.

Currently, though, I’m getting much better with some of these day to day things. Now, I actually prefer going to the grocery store alone as I have time to look at all the things I want. I can spend 15 minutes looking at cat toys, climbing things for them, fancy litter boxes I can’t afford, that kind of thing, without worrying about anyone else. My latest source of money literally revolves around me driving, and occasionally using the highway. But, after a good month or two of this, driving is actually quite relaxing now. Whether it’s five PM and rush hour or one AM and the roads are practically dead.

Recently, after an ending of a bad relationship, I feel more confident now. Granted, I still don’t like the staring eyes and to be honest, I prefer human interaction to last no more than about three to five minutes. Or as long as it takes me to make a delivery, order food, or go through a drive-through. However, I am also an Introvert so that’s probably a factor there.

But, I can happily take my time browsing through a grocery store, and driving isn’t really an issue anymore.

So that is my anxiety story. Not meant to help anyone, though if it somehow does, that’s good. If you have anxiety and it’s more intense than mine is, please do not be afraid to seek help. Or if money is the issue, see if some of the cheaper online places can help or what you can get with the healthcare wherever you live. Thank you for reading.

anxiety
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About the Creator

Moonlit Sky.

I'm a writer. Often with a dirty mind. I love animals, movies, TV shows and books.

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