My worth is not determined by how many friends I have, or how I choose to spend my day.
My worth is not determined by how much I make or whether my potential is fulfilled to the degree that others would like it to be.
My worth is not determined by goalposts set by other people.
My worth is not dependent on how happy I make others.
But that doesn't mean that I should eschew friends, and spit on their hands when they try to help me up. My worth is not dependent on how many friends I have, but I will be better if I try to be a good friend anyways and be there for them as I hope they would be there for me.
My worth is not determined by how I choose to spend my day, but I will not spend it doing nothing just to spite those who wish me to do otherwise. Sometimes, the way I wish to spend my day will line up with how society thinks I should spend my day, and that doesn't make it a less reasonable way to spend my day nor does it grant more validity to the opinions of others.
My worth is not determined by how much I make, but my quality of life is. And so I will do what I can to achieve the quality of life I desire and then I will acknowledge the thoughts of wanting more and let it wash over me. Making more will not make me happier, and I cannot buy my way towards happiness no matter what other people think.
And as long as I am fulfilled to the degree I find adequate for my own soul, then that is enough. I don't need to reach the fullness of my potential, fulfilment for me can be different from what fulfilment looks like for other people. I don't need to be a MD or a CEO to be fulfilled. But I also will not spite other's idea of fulfilment and purposely deny my own potential just because I want to spite others, to act as if their ideas could never be right. I will climb as high as I want, because I want, and no higher and no lower.
And similarly, my worth is not determined by goalposts set by others. I am not worth more because I can have reached the goals that they set for me. I am not better than others because I went to university on time or because I can cook. And I am not worth less because I cannot do what they think I should do. I am not worth less because I cannot understand certain topics, or because I am still a picky eater despite my age.
And perhaps most importantly, my worth is not dependent on how happy I can make others. I want to make people happy, and I strive to enrich the lives of those around me, but being unable to do that for everyone around me does not mean that I am worth less. Being unable to do that for anyone around me does not mean that I am worth less. It simply means that I am not in the right space. And I am not worth less because I am not happy with those around me. Just because someone else is good at making others happy does not mean that they are a good fit for me.
My worth is not dependent on how others love me, or how they see me. How I love others and how they see me says more about me than how they love me or how they see me.
It may be hard, and it may be lonely, and I do want to find people who push me to fulfil the potential I want, who ask me for the most I can do, who I can make happy and who can make me happy. But being unable to find them today does not mean that I am not a worthwhile or unloveable person.
Find last week's affirmations here, about taking life at your own pace even through your depression.