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A Recipe For Pruno

by Tyler Mc. 23 days ago in wine

How to make some basic prison wine.

A Recipe For Pruno
Photo by Kelsey Knight on Unsplash

Most of us like to spend our lives outside of prison, but some of us need to think about how it could be inevitable for some of us. Some of us just enjoy causing chaos too much to ever stay on the right side of Johnny Law. Others might end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, leading to them being framed for a crime that they did not commit. No matter how any of us might end up in jail, there needs to be an important question that needs to be answered once you are surrounded by a bunch of dangerous convicts: what can you offer to make everyone happy and keep yourself safe from being attacked by others? What could you potentially offer to someone else in order to get favors from fellow criminals while you are busy doing time? What is an important skill you can have while locked away from the rest of society that you can still make use of when you finally get out of the slammer? Well, in this story, I might finally be able to provide you with some information that will help you in both prison life and civilian life. This is knowledge that ancient humans have had for centuries, but people still use it to create delicious elixirs to this day, and now this knowledge will be yours. This, specifically, is the knowledge of how to create wine - specifically a variant of wine that can be made in prison known as pruno.

Now when it comes to pruno (also known as toilet wine by those in the outside world), you are going to need some basic ingredients in order to get started creating your cheap (but still fully functional and drinkable) wine, especially if you are trying to create this beverage from behind bars. At minimum, you are going to need ten oranges (make sure to peel these oranges before you use them), 1 cup or about 227 grams of fruit cocktail, 2 cups or 474 ml of water, 50 sugar cups, and about 6 teaspoons of ketchup. This all you need, but if you are in prison, it could be pretty difficult to get these ingredients. Collect them when you are in the mess hall eating, sneak into the kitchen to collect your materials, or find ways to persuade the guards to get these supplies for you.

On top of the ingredients, you will probably need some towels for cleaning up, a one-gallon or 3.8 liter sealable plastic bag, a large bowl, some hot water, and a spoon to mix everything. First, break the oranges into wedges and put then and the fruit cocktail into a sealable bag. When the fruit is sealed, break the fruit into small chunks until the fruit is the consistency of paste. Then, pour warm water into the mixture bag before sealing the bag again. Place the mixture in a bowl and cover it with the hottest water you can get. Add fresh hot water every five minutes. Once the mix is nice and warm, you can wrap the bag in towels to keep the heat, then transfer the mix to a dark place for 48 hours (the heat is necessary for the wild yeast to stay alive and active to turn the sugar in your mixture into the alcohol you want to drink). After 2 days, add sugar cubes and ketchup, then heat the bag and let the mix sit somewhere dark for 72 hours. Reheat the mixture daily during this time. Then, when your mix is ready, strain the mush out of the sweet alcoholic beverage before drinking.

There! Now you know how to make sweet prison nectar, and when you get out of prison, you have a marketable skill you can start a business with!

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Tyler Mc.
Tyler Mc.
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