How to make friends at The Cubbyhole Bar
The most famous lesbian bar in NYC needs you!
Jakayla Toney here from NYC's The Cubbyhole Lesbian Bar. I started working as a server/bartender in the summer of 2021 and it was amazing. This is where I met my chosen family and so much more.
I came up with the idea for this post because of two reasons:
1. The idea of going to The Cubbyhole Bar terrified me while I wasn't out and didn't have many friends.
2. I'm severly socially anxious
So I can empathize with those who have never been to a lesbian club or have no idea how to meet people.
There are numerous ways to make friends or even find a date at a lesbian bar.
1: Bring a board game if there is outdoor seating (which there is this year). This will catch someone's eye. Our Connect Four game forged new bonds. So bring a card game or inquire at the bar if anyone wants to play. A inebriated individual quickly becomes interested in a fun card or board game.
2: Chat with the bartender and ask him about the place. He'll tell you stories and perhaps someone else will join the conversation. It happens all the time. Sitting at the bar-you usually can't avoid a conversation.
3: Ask the outside server (me) to introduce you to some people. I know many people there ready to connect and make friends. There's one thing I realized working in a lesbian bar. We all want to talk to each other and we want friends.
4: If the tables outside are full or inside-ask someone if they'd want to join your table. Be apporachable. Smile. There's people probably looking at you like you're the coolest person ever.
5: Rememeber that a lot of single people go to the bar. If you do converse-keep the subjects light. Don't talk about religion or politics. Let's just say in a drunk setting, these subjects can go sour. These can lead fast into an argument. You don't want that.
6: Stay off your phone. I know it's hard, but you have to look around here and there, seem genuily intrigued about being there. It's hard, trust me I know. But it looks like your occupied. Not many people are going to interupt you while you're on your phone.
7: This next one is funny. Listen to some of the people that are loudest and give your imput in something randomly. Make sure you're drunk enough for this. One time a couple at a bar going back and fourth between something and I gave my opinion on the situation and just like that a conversation started. We're also all friends now.
8: Join a pool game! (This is more for Stonewall INN) Even if you don't know how to play it's still a good way to make friends and even get more people interested in playing with you.
9: Here's my favorite. Comment on someone's apperance or shirt or anything you like about them. We love compliments. I encourage you to do this then ask if it's the first time they've been to this bar. Once you do that, ask if they're with anyone. Offer to possibly buy them a shot and you both take one together.
10: Stand by the Jukebox at The Cubbyhole Bar! Hot spot for hotties. Everyone is over there after 8pm. Just hang by that side of the bar and look at the music people pick and make a comment.
I'm going to create a series on TikTok where I ask people questions. I'll check in to see if anyone else has more to add to this and. make a part two. My TikTok is Rockstar.lesbian
Follow me for more LGBTQ topics.
About the Creator
Jakayla Toney
When not immersed in the realms of horror and mystery, I also work as a bartender in the bustling city of New York. You can find helpful articles on bartending, writing, and photography on my page.
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