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Going Home for Christmas

My Story of Coming Out

By Caleb GeigerPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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The view from my dorm at MSU

Coming out is one of the hardest and bravest things any human being can do these days. It takes great courage to be completely true to yourself. Many family members and friends will embrace the knowledge that you are LGBT, but don’t expect everyone to be supportive. Because you are being honest, you are also being vulnerable, and some people may not like that. This is my coming out story, as far as I remember it.

I was attending classes at Murray State University in the fall of 2013 in Murray, KY. It was the end of my first semester and my brother Jeremy came to pick me up to bring me back home to Clarksville TN, where my sister Liz was living. You see, even then home for me was wherever she lived. But I digress.

US 68/KY 80

I rode with my brother down US 68/ KY 80, and as we got onto the interstate, I put on a playlist that was meant to help me figure out how my brother would feel about the coming news. I didn't think he'd react negatively to the idea that I might be gay, but I was nervous anyway. The playlist included some Lady Gaga from that time and other songs that I thought would give me clues as to whether Jeremy would be supportive. When we were almost to our destination, I put on “Same Love” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and we talked directly about gay people. He seemed to be neutral, which didn’t help with my nerves.

Our Christmas Tree

We pulled up to Liz’s house, and I hugged her. It was Christmas break, and we were celebrating. I wanted to tell them that night, but Liz had some news first. She was pregnant! With that news, coupled with Jeremy’s mild reaction and my anxiety, I let time escape from me. Before I knew it I was laying on the couch ready for bed, but the night brought no rest. I tossed and turned and sat up before laying back down again, but nothing would let me sleep. I put on another playlist of my most empowering songs and listened to it all night.

By Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

The next morning my sister walked out of her room and immediately noticed that I hadn’t slept. She wondered aloud why, but I didn’t say much besides that we needed to talk. She took my niece to her last day of school before her Christmas break started, and when she got back we sat down to talk.

I was scared. I didn’t want to say what I knew I had to. I quivered with anticipation and fear.

“Do you want to tell us something?” Liz wondered.

I sat there looking at anything but her and my brother, with tears beginning to come to my eyes.

“Whatever it is, we love you.” She said.

This just made the tears flow, and didn’t help the shaking at all.

“Do you need to text it to us?” Liz asked.

I started to open a new text message, but before I could I blurted out…

“I’m gay!”

By Dustin Humes on Unsplash

The aftermath of this event was predictable. Liz and Jeremy supported me in my coming out and said they loved me no matter what. Not all my family supported me though. My sister Rebekah sent me a nasty message a few months after I came out publicly saying she and her husband don’t want me around them or their family and my brother Joshua said the same. I could write a whole other essay on how my parents handled my coming out, but the short version is that my mom has found a way to accept my sexuality in terms of her religion, and my dad seems to have decided to not care, I guess. Overall, I have no regrets when it comes to my coming out because I am more true to myself than ever before.

Humanity
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About the Creator

Caleb Geiger

If you can support me as I make my graphic novel

https://www.patreon.com/calebgeigermedia

If you want me to write a story for an idea you had, you can submit or order it on my website.

https://calebgeigermedia.company.site

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