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Strain: KCBOTD

by Jon Esquivel 8 months ago in fact or fiction
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A Cannabis strain named Kansas City Book Of The Dead

Strain: KCBOTD
Photo by Esteban Lopez on Unsplash

Tyler collapses onto his couch and gets comfortable after a long day at work. He reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone as a message appears on the screen. The message reads “be there in an hour -Trees.” Tyler reads the message and ignores it, opening up a new message to send to his friend Jay typing “gonna shower and jump on.” Tyler hops in the shower to wash away the long work week when Jay responds with a message that says “start your update now. Trust me.”

When he gets out of the shower Tyler turns on his playstation and begins to update the game him and Jay are about to play. Grabbing his headset, he accepts an invite to chat with Jay online.

Jay: Lemme guess, you didn’t see my message and you’re at three percent on the download.

Tyler: Eight percent.

Jay: Damn, that’s trash bro. It’s a big update but so worth it.

Tyler: That’s alright. Gives me time to re-up. I’m almost out.

Jay: Can’t bum any off your roommate?

Tyler: He’s out of town. Comes back in a week. Work trip.

Jay: Bro, I’d be walking around butt ass naked feeling the breeze and shit. Anyway, you still buying from the same delivery service?

Tyler: Yup.

Jay: Same girl?

Tyler: Yup.

Jay: You talk to her yet?

Tyler: What do you mean?

Jay: That’s a no. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Just ask if she wants to smoke a jay and watch Planet Earth or something.

Tyler: I don’t know. I don’t wanna be that guy and she could be seeing someone. Also, when I see her she’s working and that’s just, I don’t know, rude, I guess? I think too many guys do shit like that.

Jay: I hear you. Dead ass last week one of our girls got stiffed on a tip and on the receipt the dude wrote, “I’ll make up the tip over dinner?” with his number. She was so tight.

A message from Trees pops up on Tyler’s phone that says “COMING UP!”

Jay: So it gets better. So she uses the number to do a little social media stalking. Turns out the dude is married so she messages the wife and just says like “hey I got stiffed on a tip which made me feel sad and whatever,” sent a picture of the receipt to her as proof, not mentioning what he wrote. Wife responds only asking for her Venmo handle. Next day, 200 bucks is sent to her. Bro, justice served.

Tyler: Holy shit, also just got a text. She’s on her way up.

Jay: Bet! Anyway, what I was wanting to say before I got sidetracked, the vibe I got from her when I was there and you ordered is A, she is interested in you and B, she is waiting for you to say something.

Tyler: Yeah but you just went through that whole story.

Jay: My coworker didn’t want the attention of that scumbag. She wanted a solid tip. This girl actually does want your attention. I’m not saying ask her to smash, just see if she would wanna hangout outside of just a drug deal.

There is a knock at Tyler’s door.

Tyler: Oddly sound advice.

Jay: Yeah, just tell her about your haunted place.

Tyler: Shut up. I’ll be right back

Tyler takes a few deep breaths centering himself. He is clearly a bit nervous. He opens the door and Kristy makes her way into the apartment as if she was in front of a live studio audience. She tosses a small black jar to Tyler who just manages to catch it.

Kristy: I have a story for you.

Tyler: What did you just throw at me?

Kristy: KCBOTD.

Tyler: Ok and what did you just say to me?

Kristy: Open the jar and smell.

Tyler opens the jar and suddenly the potent aroma of cannabis dances its way out of the jar and directly to Tyler’s nose.

Tyler: Holy shit.

Kristy: Kansas City Book Of The Dead.

Tyler: Jesus what a name. So what’s the story?

Kristy makes herself comfortable on the couch. She kicks off her shoes and crosses her legs the way she always does when it’s about to be story time.

Kristy: So you ever heard of legendary strains? OG White Widow, Girl Scout Cookies, at one time Pineapple Express prior to the movie. Anyway, what made these strains so rare is over time the genetics of these plants just kept getting crossed with other strains for potency and taste, that the original genetic makeup became so rare to find. It’s an unregulated orgy fest in the cannabis supply world. Anyway, three years ago when I first started, I was learning the ropes. Me and the girl I was shadowing went to this guys penthouse in Chelsea. I mean Jesus Christ. Guy has his own Bonsai garden on the rooftop. I guess that is a perk of being an international lawyer. Get this though his partner is a medium. They ask for this strain all the time. Buy the entire stock of it. They pretty much own exclusive rights to it.

Tyler: Who grows it? Why are they so thirsty for it?

Kristy: No clue. I just sell it. But! They might be thirsty because there is one unique quality about this strain. It doesn’t smell when you smoke it. So I’ve been told.

Tyler: That can’t be possible by any measure.

Kristy: Only one way to find out! Why do you think I accidentally on purpose cut away a couple nugs for us to try?

Tyler: Us?

Kristy: Yeah, can’t get fully blazed because I have some more deliveries tonight but tomorrow night I’m off. We can smoke and get tacos. What do you say?

Tyler: Uh, yeah that sounds great.

Kristy: Amazing, well I got a few minutes to kill wanna share a bowl?

Tyler quickly gets to work on grinding up the flower and packing a bowl into the bong sitting on the table. He grabs the bong and runs to the kitchen to change out the water. Kristy laughs as this farce of a process happens. They sit down on the couch together. Tyler lets his nerves get the better of him and not knowing how to stir up conversation, starts telling Kristy about his haunted apartment.

KRISTY: So wait, is it haunted?

Tyler: No! My roommate is just a fool. I love him, he’s my fool. I think he just gets scared easily or is trying to freak me out.

Kristy: You’ve never seen or heard anything?

Tyler: Not the way he claims he has.

Kristy: What does he say?

Tyler: He says he sees like a shadow from the corner of his eye or just an eerie feeling from time to time when he wakes up to pee in the middle of the night.

Kristy: Fuck no, I couldn’t live here and I don’t know how you are cool with staying home alone in a haunted apartment. You need protection. I may have to come back and protect you.

Tyler: One. It’s not haunted. Two. You don’t need to protect me.

Kristy: Maybe. Okay, I got to get going. I will text you about tomorrow.

Kristy packs her stuff and makes her way to the front door. Before she leaves she turns to face Tyler.

Kristy: Do you smell that?

Tyler: No?

Kristy: Exactly. See you.

As she leaves Tyler realizes that the weed they had been smoking with the elaborate name truly did not smell at all when burned. How this was scientifically possible was beyond him. Suddenly, Tyler hears his name ever so faintly being called. At first he can’t figure out where the sound is coming from until he realizes they are coming from his playstation headphones. Jay! He forgotten about Jay! Tyler quickly puts the headphones back on.

Tyler: I am so sorry man.

Jay: I heard the whole thing! I told you she wanted to hangout with you and that your haunted place was a good topic to discuss.

Tyler: Yeah, you called it.

Jay: Does that weed really not smell? What was the name of it? Kansas City Cookbook?

Tyler: Kansas City Book Of the Dead.

Jay: Who the fuck comes up with a name like that? That’s too much man. How you feeling from it?

Tyler: Stoned-ish?

Jay: Then that shit sucks. Your update almost finished?

Tyler: Sixty-seven percent.

Jay: Perfect, I’m gonna run to the corner store for a drink. I’ve been having to go to the one down the block instead of across the street because of this fucking kid that keeps trying to get me to film his fucking music video. I told him once while we were in line to pay that I was a camera man. Biggest fucking mistake ever. Now he won’t leave me alone anytime I see him and the universe just loves to fuck with me so he’s always there when I am. He keeps sending me his Soundcloud mixtapes and shit. I just wanna grab him and yell, “I’m not filming the video for your shitty music.” Clearly I have feelings to sort out on this subject. I’ll be back.

Tyler goes to take another hit from the bong but then he sees something out of the corner of his eye. A shadow type figure. He shrugs this off and chalks it up to all the conversations about ghosts and the very bold name of this weed. Kansas City Book of The Dead. Kansas City Book of The Dead. The name ringed in his head over and over again. He mulled it over as if it were a puzzle that was stumping him. Except it was only a name. No, not only a name. A mystery. Why did some random fancy lawyer in Chelsea want every ounce of this that he could get his hands on? Stuck up neighbors who would call the landlord at the first hint of cannabis in the air? Maybe, but Tyler felt if that was the case the lawyer could just smoke it outside on his rooftop or at the very least use his money to shut everyone up. Something seemed off. Not to mention how incredible it was that it truly didn’t smell when it was smoked. Before he knew it Tyler was drifting into deep thought with his eyes closed on the couch. A quick nap as he attempted to uncover the mystery of this strain.

The amount of time that passed was unknown to Tyler but what woke him was the sound of his name being called again. But this time it seemed to be much closer and louder than just the headsets of the playstation. Tyler tries to gather his senses and reality. He hears Jay calling his name from the headset. He places the headset on.

Tyler: Hello.

Jay: Finally.

Tyler: I passed out.

Jay: I figured. Good news: I dodged that kid and they had vanilla coke.

Tyler: I am so happy for you.

Jay: Who was that calling you name by the way?

Tyler: What do you mean?

Jay: Someone was calling your name. I thought it was you mocking me for a second.

Tyler: Quit it man. I really don’t need to be spooked right now.

Jay: I am not joking…

Before Jay can finish Tyler hears the door to his bathroom slowly open. He freezes as a stream of terror runs down his spine locking his feet into place. Tyler can’t speak and can barley think. A shadow figure slowly starts to appear in the corner of Tyler’s eye. It is in this moment that Tyler realizes why the lawyer wanted every bit of this strain. It wasn’t for himself but for his partner. He realizes that maybe his roommate wasn’t making up tall tales with his experience in the apartment. And finally he realizes the biggest side effect of smoking this strain as the ghost of his apartment makes its way into his sights.

fact or fiction

About the author

Jon Esquivel

A Creative in IT. Dog dad to a pup name Tofu(not made of soy). Movie lover since before I could walk

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Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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