How Magic Mushrooms Have Helped my Mental Health Issues
And how they might help you too.
For a long time, I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety and low self esteem. For years I received various diagnoses from psychiatrists and was put on medications such as lamotrogine, seroquel, lithium, and many more. Sometimes the medications would help with my symptoms for a little while, but eventually the side-effects would become unbearable. At that point I would switch to a different medication or come off of medication entirely, only to experience my usual symptoms again.
There were always physical side effects of the medications, but the most debilitating side effect was always the emotional numbing. With access to my full spectrum of emotions, I’m a passionate, creative, fiery and powerful person. On medications that suppress some of the darker emotions I was trying to run away from, I felt weak, passive, foggy and had very little drive to be creative.
The big shift with the way I started treating my mental health happened when I took a magic mushroom chocolate at a house-boat music festival a few years ago. I experienced a sudden awareness and a knowing that I’d never felt before. I suddenly saw that my ability to feel both positive and negative emotions, my strong empathy and my sensitivity were all beautiful things. Previous to this experience I’d been labelling those aspects of me as fundamental flaws. I also realized that I didn’t want to keep taking seroquel, a medication that I was on at the time.
I started tapering off of seroquel that week, and started pouring my energy into learning about emotions. Huge changes in my mental health started happening after I stopped seeing certain emotions (like anger and sadness) as bad and started to learn to love my entire spectrum of emotions. I started taking a full dose of magic mushrooms (about 1.5 - 4 grams) two to four times a month, gaining more and more insight into my emotions and where they were coming from each time. I would also gain insight into myself and my life in general.
I like to describe magic mushrooms as a doorway to the subconscious mind. While pharmaceutical medications suppress our painful emotions, magic mushrooms do pretty much the opposite.
Now, I understand how scary that can sound. When you spend your life running away from painful feelings, taking something to amplify them seems like a dangerous road to go down. But something that I’ve learned through my own healing is that the only way to heal chronic painful feelings is to dive deeply into those feelings and give them your full presence and love. You can’t suppress something out of existence, but you can heal it.
I highly suggest learning about shadow work and inner child work if you’re interested in taking magic mushrooms for mental health. Those methods alone are powerful for healing, but combined with the way mushrooms can bring awareness to what’s unhealed, you may be able to heal at a faster rate by using both.
I don’t believe that everyone needs mushrooms to heal. I’m an advocate for following your instincts. Listen to yourself and whatever feels best for you. If you feel drawn to mushrooms but you’re more comfortable starting with a microdose, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you’re drawn to starting with a 2 gram dose, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Just make sure you’re in a place and with people who feel safe to you. If being alone feels safest to you, that’s also completely okay.
The best piece of advice I can give anyone who’s ready to try a mushroom trip, is to allow. Allow whatever surfaces, and know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for anything that you’re experiencing. When someone talks about a bad mushroom trip, they’re usually talking about resisting what’s surfacing. Resisting, in any circumstance, whether on mushrooms or not, will cause you pain. This is why being in an environment that feels safe to you is very important, especially if you’re new to mushrooms.
Whether or not mushrooms feel like the right healing modality for you right now, I want you to know that you can heal whatever it is that you’re struggling with. There have been so many struggles I’ve faced where I’ve felt like I would never get through them. I’ve found that by taking things step by step and inspiration by inspiration, I can eventually get through anything. You have the power to heal, even when it feels like you don’t have any power at all.
Featuring: A photo of me and my mushroom tapestry.
Check out my YouTube channel to see my video on this topic and more: https://m.youtube.com/user/BridgetGrahamMusic