Green Crack by Green Haven

Rated 69 by The Cannafiles

Green Crack by Green Haven

I haven’t a clue if the story is true, the one about Snoop Dogg renaming Cush. I wasn’t there the day he allegedly proclaimed it Green Crack; and I did not have an opportunity to ask the man the day he rolled through the doors, doing a meet-and-greet at the shop I budtended at. I have smoked other grower’s cuts of Green Crack so my perception is already set a little. I remember smoking on some very sweet flavors that got stuck on your tongue for days. I remember sweet mango dipped in sugary sweetness, my mind on fire as my body was set in motion with pure Zen-like madness. Short lived effects but the flavor goes on and on through bursts of energy. I’ve never smoked on the indica phenotype of Green Crack but I’m sure it exists.


So most of the phenos I’ve smoked on have been pretty much the aforementioned sativa made famous by the Snoop Dogg story. And that’s the trouble with smoking on classic or legendary strains. It’s also why I can rant on a bit about the importance of understanding that cannabis is a flower, something that is grown, something living. Something that can change and shift from harvest to harvest. Living things that are grown, not manufactured. So we forget these things when we pick up pre-packaged cannabis. We tend to forget that growers can harvest a bomb crop one season and get hit with all sorts of issues on the next. Certainly indoor growing mitigates and controls many of these problems, but conditions arise regardless. Water, light, pH, nutrients, pesticides, and so much more. And then there’s the curing process. Some growers dry their weed, others cure their it. And now with the advent of large-scale grow operations, growers are contending with consumer perception and expectation.

So when I rate cannabis, I do my best to look at every bag individually, at each harvest, and this bag of Green Crack contains a beautiful set of buds. This bag has one queen bud surrounded by a trio of smaller mercy nugs. For ratings, if able, I roll up a gram into a spliff, typically using the queen bud from the bag. The flower feels a little lighter, fluffier, and has a good presentation overall. Trimmed well, a little bit of leaf left but not shaggy. Light frosty green leaf and lots of reddish-orange pistils. Immediately I notice a sweeter, mango-like scent that is very typical of Green Crack.

Trichomes are beautiful and look healthy. Milky-white and opalescent. Full and complete saturation on the pistils, calyx, and leaf. Trichome structure looks strong and fully matured. You can see the heads distinctly from the stalks.

Initial aromas are mostly a sweet berry that leans heavier toward mango. I do detect hints of pine and evergreen. Breaking up the buds open up more berry scent, revealing what may be Afghani heritage in the unknown indica genetics.

There are two different phenotypes of Green Crack. One that is 75%/25% sativa dominant, the one most folks associate with Snoop Dogg. Legend has it the strain was referred to as Cush, distinct in spelling from Kush, referring to an indica. So the story goes Snoop puffed-puffed-passed and declared it to be Green Crack…so the story goes.

But I digress.

The other phenotype of Green Crack is an 85%/15% indica dominant. Personally I’ve yet to come across this one, but she’s out there somewhere. So, though I detect heavier berry aromas after breaking up the buds, that pine and mango is still most prevalent, and this leads me to believe that this is the typical sativa strain I’m used to.

Grinding her up softens the berry scent and elevates the pine with hints of citrus and mango. Chewing the stem primes my palette with a flavor of sweet skunk. Buds feel well-hydrated, but are they cured? Slightly spongy, just a bit of give to the pile of ground bud. She rolled up easy enough—however I had some spillage. But that was due to me trying to pack more into the spliff that I should have.

Unfortunately I rolled her a little tight, so its more difficult to pull a hit than I would have liked. But the flavor is coming through and it’s coming across very simple. Mostly sweet sage and soft pine. There’s the slightest hint of skunk and citrus. No mango or sugary sweetness. The aromas aren’t transmuting into flavor. I’m not sure if this crop was over-flushed which happens on occasion, especially on larger grows. Or perhaps the weed was dried and not cured, leaving behind magnesium and chlorophyll that leaves the smoke tasting and feeling harsh against the throat.

Maybe a combination of both.

Okay, so after a third of the spliff is down, she opens right up, and I can rip some good hits. But I am dealing with a small canoe situation, but that’s on me. The flavors are a little sweeter now; that berry and skunk is prevalent. But halfway down the joint and the flavor is all but gone. It falls flat, stumbles, gets hot, and peppery. There’s tingles on the mouth and throat.

Two-thirds gone and a nice stony haze drifts across my eyes and face. Smoking hot and bitter and rough. All flavor, what there was, is gone. The aromas were there but they just never pulled through on the taste. The ash is darker gray and black. She looked great, smelled good, smoked decently at first but not smoking the best right now. She had a great start but quickly stumbled.

The effects are there, though. Hazy and stony in the head. I am gently relaxed throughout the body, but there’s a vibe or an energy that I feel like I could chase. Finishing off the spliff and at this point that dopey headiness amplifies. I feel beautifully high with a fuzziness on the periphery of my vision, while there is a pin-point clarity to the focal point of my vision.

Uh, or something like that.

The flavor was disappointing but I’m very stoned. At this stage I’m not caring about the taste so much. The effects are warming up nicely in the body with a soft hum. My eyes feel larger than their sockets are allowing and there’s a fuzzy feeling on the top of my head, a soft rubbing on my scalp, as though I’m being read by a phrenologist. Very relaxing though there is an underlying core of energy that pulls at me.

And then the effects slowly begin to wane, much quicker than I had hoped. Definitely typical of Green Crack, at least the cuts I have smoked. Overall this bag had decent effects that lasted longer than the flavor.

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Stefin Bradbury

Stefin Bradbury is an independent author of dirty realism, transgressive, and dark fiction. He lives in Tacoma with his family. His books are available on Amazon and he can be followed on Twitter and found on Minds.

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