Your Necessity

The never ending helix of mental consumption

Brings your legs to tread a self-proposed destruction

Through the eyes of a child, one can only watch

As one ages through time, watching is for the fearful

Yet the helplessness I feel as if I were five

Has managed to linger, and refuses to die

The laughter you could have and the joy you could bring

But I'm stuck watching you sunder mentally

The switches between all of your personalities

Are tiring, are heavy and I'm left unknown to what to do

It's a hell of a decision, I only make for you

As my heart weighs onto my soul

Simple breathes begin to feel like water in my lungs

And if I dare scream, I'll only drown faster

What am I to do with the woman I call mother

There's a binding spell attached to my heart

When I look at this woman tear herself apart

Watching through a cracked glass, and I see the smoke

She never reaches where I quite hope

To find her someday, where we can one day laugh

And look back at our bewildering past

We'll smile because we've moved on

And ready for new storms

But those moments seem to never find us

And my heart breaks into a fine sand

If I dare take you under my wing permanently

I am aware that it would be a risk for me

How selfish could I possibly be?

At the risk of my life, do I dare reach?

Do I forget that you've tried to kill me?

Do I take on the weight of your existence,

And let me tell you that you weigh more than a universal soul

With the spikes of your accusations

Physical to verbal swings

It brings about questions of many things

Why can't I save you?

Why can't you be lead?

Why must we always fall apart, again and again?

I'm too young to recognize as much as I do

And getting away is not as easy to do

Because I can't walk away as I please

Not because I need you, but rather you need me

And it's that necessity of yours that will end me

Indefinitely