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YOU & ME

the very beginning

By Serena TaylorPublished 4 years ago 6 min read
1

<3 <3 <3

Innocence

The moment before

Everything

Changes.

The “before” is

Nothing

After everything.

It crept gently

Slowly building

Something new.

Purpose unknown.

Impossible to predict

The damage

Hello,

My name is,

Nobody

<3 <3 <3

The second day of September calls my name out from beneath reality, where odd versions of myself star in the horror films of the first day of school. All memory of them fade, when the pain of the cold morning sun stinging my droopy eyes takes control of my thoughts and senses. My mind wiped clean. I glance at my clothes for the day stretched out across my floor waiting patiently to cover my nakedness. They were laid out to shield my identity in grade nine and for fresh new paint of this white canvas. What colours will touch my brush today?

Yellow. The colour of my face as it walks, a simple smile greeting the first quiet moments of the day. The light inside of it growing at each new blessing the day delivers me. An old friend and a new one. A chance to be somebody. The transparent doors at the end of the hallway are stained yellow, reflecting my mood. A few more steps to the most colourful door in the building. Where inspiration and creation are the most needed instruments. What new techniques will travel from my brain to my eager hands?

Brown. The colour of my keen eyes exploring the faces of my new classmates. Pause, a new face and move on. Faces of friends, or people I used to know fall into a list in my head. Names scroll through my mind until one matches up with a student. Some fall to the bottom of the list, nameless. Unknown. Smiles escape my mouth and fly toward friends, both old and new. Then I find you. Stop. Stare. Who is this new pair of eyes looking at me?

<3 <3 <3

Blurry faces

Zooming through time

Chaos surrounds me like a dizzy hug

Everything’s spinning

Two calm dark circles

Still.

Unmoved despite the disorder

Locked on me

Just for a second

Though it feels like a lifetime

Those quiet brown eyes

Stay unwavered from mine

Curious and kind

Familiar though unknown

Known without ever having seen them

Seen them my entire life

What words do they speak?

A language unidentified.

What will this be?

Do they follow me?

I don't know

Ignore it.

<3 <3 <3

Brown. The colour of his eyes “glancing” at me from across the room. They appear and bring life to my canvas, company to a lonely section of my life. In class my mind is black. The clock drags the seconds around the circle, minute after minute. I sit there waiting.Then a peek at colour. His eyes call to me in the darkness. Time rushes by, I don't have enough. Three seconds they’re there, and then gone the very next. It’s black again. Just a tiny taste of him. It was too little to even notice.

Blue.The colour of his shirt today. He slips through the door gliding to his corner of the room. Five minutes late. His face, quiet but inviting, glows brighter against the coloured fabric. Gravity pulls me in again and I’m trapped in his atmosphere. His face is unmoved, yet somehow, smiling. My head starts to spin, but once I find his eyes, they hold me still. Time stops. Then I’m falling. Being pulled from somewhere to an empty space away from you. Now lost, until I’m found again.

Green. The colour of his voice speaking to me. I’m trapped in the ivy of his words and I’ve never felt so free. I’m a child who just received a pink pony for Christmas, jaw dropped, drool dripping slowly from the corners of my wide open mouth. It’s as if this were a chique romance movie and I’m turning gooey at his magical words of poetry, when all he really said was, “yeah” and looked at me. Why does he always look at me like that? The answer is clear, but I don’t dare let it become more than an occasional thought quickly pushed underwater and forgotten. Even thoughts can’t hold their breaths for long though.

Red. The colour of his toothless smile. His teeth hiding away behind his lips keep his smile from being white. There is a slight curve at the corners of his mouth, at a quick glance invisible, but if you stop to watch it shyly tip-toes into view. Small but confident in it’s joy. I cannot try to decode the hidden messages it holds on display for me. I can look but I forbid my mind to think, don’t solve the mystery. Is his smile aware of its ability to speak and communicate the secrets that his lips don’t know how to say?

Beige. The colour of the weekend. Bland, brown, and empty.

<3 <3 <3

Grey.

The colour of clay

Icy fingers making shapes

Bending

Changing

Filling holes

Smoothing bumps and dents

You heal the cuts

Made by old monsters

Words stitching what’s torn

Heat dries

Soaked tissue from tears of the past

Drawing out the liquid

That had made a home in my body

The mold that grew so thick

Made invisible

Non-existent

Now colour glazed over

Staining my skin with beauty

Made perfect

By you

<3 <3 <3

Orange. Pink. Yellow. Red. The colour of the skies that end each day. Deep like his eyes, quiet like his smile, warm like my melted mind. He appears in more than just classrooms and dirty hallways now. Brown eyes glued to my memory follow my heavy footsteps home. Images of his face visit me in secret thoughts I hide from myself. In the quiet of my dark room, I think the forbidden and imagine what I won’t let myself want in the private of my dreams. Goodnight becomes paradise.

Blue. The colour of the water covering my not so “occasional” thoughts. A group project makes one thought turn into a wish and more thoughts surface. “Shh don’t let her see me” the wish says, and I try to hold the rest under the blue. I’m not in his group. It was a childish wish. The sounds of his quiet smile call my eyes to look at him in the corner. My glance turns into a stare and I start to long to be there, closer. Imagining what it would be like, and all knowing I had of my own project floats away. For now, I’m beside him listening and watching.

Black. The colour of his message to me. The text so carefully written to me, asking me a question.

Hey, do you know if the famous artist sheet is due on monday?

It’s due Wednesday!

Okay thanks

No problem

And do you know how long the video should be for our history project?

I think it was 3-5 minutes long

Okay thanks

What is your groups’ project on?

...

White. The colour of the little smile that grows with every message from him. Three simple answered questions and we’re off. Back and forth we talk for hours. We talk about our classes together. Flowing from subject to subject so smoothly, like magic. Even when the world calls us away from our beautiful conversation, the smile does not go away. Glued to my lips forever. He wants to go to lunch with me tomorrow.

love poems
1

About the Creator

Serena Taylor

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere" - Beauty and The Beast

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