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Will You Make It out Alive?

What's the goal?

By Amanda OlejniczakPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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Food is the enemy

Staying busy is the remedy

Stop for too long and you'll start to feel

Hunger will fade after a little while of going without

Fear of gaining weight will never go away

Flee from the eyes of others because you're not good enough yet

The voices in your head aren't really yours but it's a comfort

Pillows soaked from your tears

The darkness of the night sky reflects the darkness you feel inside

Push them away before they get too close

Hell is empty because all the demons are here

Your head is filled with ideas that serve as an ideal image of what your body should look like

The thinner the better

In fact, you can never be too thin

Don't stop

Keep pushing yourself

Feeding tubes, treatment centers, and hospitals won't want you

Passing out, bruises, and self harm become your new normal

Praying for God to take your life because you're too chicken to cut deep enough

Enough...funny how we define that word

The smaller I am and the less space I take up, the more enough I am-thin enough, good enough, pretty enough

They all tell you that you're dying

Don't stop now

What's the goal?

I can't remember

My chest hurts, everything is blurry, I can't concentrate but boy can I remember every calorie count for the foods in my refrigerator

Cold to the touch, maybe even cold on the inside too

No friends left, they've gotten tired of watching you waste away

Gone

When will it be gone?

This thing, this...disease, illness, eating disorder, anorexia, really is killing me

Food is the enemy

Staying busy is the remedy

The solution?

Start eating again and sit on a couch with a therapist across from you

Sounds easy to outsiders

To you, death sounds like a better route

Will you make it out alive?

slam poetry
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About the Creator

Amanda Olejniczak

I am a writer, poet, and proud advocate for mental health. Addtional content I create can be found on Instagram: @amanda_unfiltered or @amanda_unfiltered_poetry.

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