Will I Ever Be Enough?

Presently chaotic and always called exotic,

Being treated erotic, being made neurotic

To the point of exhaustion

Where my eyeballs burst and my sweat scalds my brow

As my brain pleads for mercy from itself.

So, I wonder, if without, would I be better?

Would I be stronger?

Could I do more?

Would I be whole?

But who says I am not whole now?

Me?

What do you do when you hate yourself the most?

What do you do?

I didn't want to be a fighter,

But I grew up in the battlefields of my mind.

I wanted to die, but at the same time, I was too determined to survive.

So I pushed and I dragged myself further,

Until I could crawl, and until I could walk.

I rest when I can, often I fall, and soon I hope to run.

So on the days when I'm weak and feeling shattered from within,

I remind myself that when I rest, allowing my wounds to heal,

The stronger I begin to feel.

Every day's a new chance to begin.

It's a challenge, countless days are rough,

But even diamonds have their edges,

so I work to remind myself that I am enough.