Why Did I Care?

I don’t give a fuck about what people think of me

So why did I care so much about what one person thought of me?

:

I dug into the depths of my psyche

with the gilded spade of my heart beating

:

I cared so much

about what they thought about me

because they meant the world to me

:

I cared what they thought of me

because I just wanted them to see the real me

instead of the distorted perception in their vision

:

Because it was their blinders

shutting them in with fear

that destroyed authentic communication

and made them keep their distance

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It was their invulnerability

that kept their anxiety ridden concerns silent

until their emotional time bomb burst into flames

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It was their silence in the dark

that kept the truth from the window of reality

and allowed for the ego to put up defensive walls

:

I cared so much

about what they thought about me

simply because I wanted them to understand me

I wanted them to trust me

I wanted them to care for me

just as much as I did for them

:

To be patiently kind to me just as I was with them

the times after their fears and shadows caused them to go off the deep end

but I remained stable, and my words comforted them

:

I wanted them to look at me like I looked at them

regardless of their character flaws and imperfections

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To see me as a divine blessing

even after committing human mistakes

To relish in the purity of my soul

even after the ego momentarily took the reigns

To love and respect me for who I really am underneath it all

despite the ugliness of projections and hurtful words spat out

:

So they would see that

we were both wrong

as much as we were both right

To see that we had both been weak

but together we could build each other up strong

:

To help them realize

We could come together on common ground

resolve any conflict through conversation and compromise

That we could help each other understand

how to care for one another better

in ways that before weren't clearly stated

and weave unconditional love into our tapestry

:

To see clearly

That the rare beauty of our relationship

was worth putting in the time and effort

What we shared was more meaningful

than the perceptions of our differences

:

To reveal who we both are is beautiful

despite our flaws

That when you love a person

and that hand you were dealt that day wasn’t the best

you may need to fold for moment

but always come back to the table and do your best

:

I cared about they thought

because I wanted them to see

like the clouds passing by

the fight was temporary

:

So they could clearly see

a soulful connection like ours

is something you cherish and hold

:

I cared about what they thought

because I wanted them to see

that our relationship was worth fighting for