Why Am I Back

Imagine seeing the exit ramp and immediately your anxiety takes over as to welcome you back to your birthright

when you see your memorable street sign

It feels like the whole city is crying of the sins you tried leaving behind.

But some stuff you can't leave behind

Some stuff packs itself up in bags and carries itself with you until you deal with it

A car passing by and you ask if it's his even though you don't remember seeing him drive it

you're head overwhelmed with conversations explaining yourself but hold no real explanation of why you're back other than you felt like you didn't have any other way

your heart remembers being pushed into corners of the apartment buildings standing stronger than you last seen them but it still doesn't take away your urge to speed through red stop signs because flight still seems like the best option.

your sins are engraved in the faces of strangers at a restaurant and the words "how have you been" sound more oppressive than uplifting

The urge to have a night out is followed by not wanting to drive home at night unless you really have to

These city lights use to light up like a child's Christmas fantasy

Now all she sees

is why she shouldn't be

back here.