Who Were You?

What was it like before? Before you met all these people. Before you got involved in all these things. Who were you? Who were you when you were in a space completely alone? Your thoughts not consumed by other beings. What was your thought process? What did you like? What were your interests and hobbies?

You’re just now realizing how you let others consume you and decide your happiness. You seem to always have that one person that enters your life and you’re completely happy with them, talking to them every day, laughing and just in complete awe of them.....but who are you when they leave? When the talking stops? When the laughs and jokes come to a halt? Who are you?

It’s dangerous allowing one person to have that much power over you. To come into your world and turn everything upside down without you even noticing and when they leave, you finally turn around and see the mess they made. You don’t recognize yourself anymore. You don’t even know who you are. The image of yourself is so distorted that not even the most expensive photoshop could fix it.

Then what? You’re left alone again. You don’t remember who you are. Picking yourself up and putting yourself back together is like trying to do a puzzle with 10,000 pieces. It’s confusing, frustrating, and seems damn near impossible. Who was I? What did I like? What excited me? What drove me? What was I passionate about?

The process starts over again. Someone else enters your life and you thought you would never feel this way again. You think “this is it, this is the one.” Only to have that person do the same thing the last one did. Now you’re back at square one. Except now, you feel hopeless and lack faith.

And the cycle keeps going...

And going...

And going...

Until one day you realize, this isn’t who I am. Then you begin to tap in to what used to make you happy. You start doing the things that drove and motivated you. You smile again. You shed a tear, but laugh a little.

Who were you?

I am me.