Who I May Be

A blanket of depthless velvet,

stretched around this ball of breath and soul,

is dusted with pinpricks of glittering white diamond

that speak of the deep unknown.

Edged starlight bathes the land and sea

that is just as layered as Dante's hell,

and just as coldly complex.

I'm tiny

against this encompassing enormity that cloaks me

I know this

yet I still find myself lost in the folds of emotion

that warps my thoughts and blurs my logic.

Porcelain and jewels, studded sharply with steep consciousness,

make up the ethereal being I look up towards.

I sigh her image, breathe her sound, hope for her guidance,

as I crumple from the weight

of the twisted threads of my armored thoughts.

Aphrodite or Artemis,

Demeter or Persephone.

All of them or none of them

have breathed encouragement and inspiration

into the directions I have turned towards.

Sensual awakening versus the use of a blade

tempered with the heat of a sharpened mind;

the pull of time against the eventual loss of my heart’s free will

pushes into effect

the subtle discovery of who I am.

The world then tilts,

and throws my weight away from the gravity I embrace.

I fall

and keep falling,

the sharp stars surrounding me and piercing me

with their obscene alien separation

that unravel what I thought I had always known,

which was always nothing.

Nothing that has kept me steady

And has pulled me into depths of chaotic oceans,

with waves tipped of foamed assurance

that growth is key,

change necessary.

But is it?

Who am I really, as I stumble down silver paths paved by false promises

and subtle hints that life is truly unknown with its many endings.

Who am I really, as I attempt to direct myself through mazes of hazy destinies,

all loosely connected by threads of thin dreams

and myths of ethereal origin.

Cutting words and honed frowns

glance against my chipped protection

and slowly work their way into my frail soul

that drips with shivering blue uncertainty

yet clings to steely dark determination

with a strength born of genuine desire

to succeed amongst champions and the lost alike.

My knowledge may be scarce,

yet experience with the throes of life

has created a foundation within me

with the ability to hold my own

in a storm fed by the erratic choices

of the Earth I stand on,

its soil soaked with the sweat of the past

its waters churned with the fear of the future.

I am all of these things, a rainbow of scars and memory.

I am uncertainty, the yawning black chasm that sharpens my steps as I continue towards the unknown tomorrow.