When I Loved You

I didn't know how to love you at first.

Misguided words, and awkwardly put phrases

I say I'm sorry too often because I'm never mentally in the right places.

Loving you in my mind was like kisses intermingling with rays of sunshine.

Loving you was long goodbyes and equally long hellos

Where my eager, greedy fingers searched for yours and wouldn't let go.

Love was choosing to understand and share the weight of the world, even when it was in the palm of your hand.

Love was pancakes on a Sunday afternoon, warm tea and honey dripping down my silver spoon. Love was hurtful at times.

Love was one-sided

Love was toxic... and love is finally letting you go.

Love is now "thank you for letting me experience you." Love is now all my own. Love is "I want you to be happy."

Love is starting something so irrevocably beautiful with the mutual understanding that one day what we may be is just photos and memories, and still choosing to say yes. My heart is yours, I am allowing myself to experience you as you are experiencing me.

I am now loving you, and you are now loving me.