Walls

You see,

She's built her walls so high

That sometimes she can't see out.

Can't climb high enough within herself to see

The glow

Of warmth,

Of love,

That others long to bring.

In place of good intentions,

Of potential,

She sees only veiled threats,

Only hurt disguised as kindness.

And so,

She sends them away

With arrows of anxiety,

By covering herself in chaos,

And locking herself in lonely thoughts.

When did she become so afraid?

When did her mind long to sabotage

All things soft,

All things kind,

In her life?

Maybe she's always worn this armour,

Always hidden her hope in webs

Of toxic thoughts,

Of worst-case scenarios.

Maybe she's always been afraid

Of letting someone in

To see the mess of scars and sorrow

That have wound round her heart.

Perhaps she's never made friends

With the emotions that swirl inside of her,

Too scared that they'll drown her,

Since she never learnt to swim.

And so she paints her walls

With bright smiles and beckoning grins,

Enough to draw them close,

To the walls that are too high to let them in.

Maybe one day someone will stand

In the shadow of those walls,

Not scared,

Not daunted by their height,

And tap softly on the weather-worn bricks.

They'll wait beneath the scaling heights,

Content just to be close,

Tapping again and again,

Where old hurt cements bricks closed.

Knuckles never tiring,

Hope never wearing thin,

Tap by tap he'll break down those bricks,

And maybe,

Just maybe,

She'll let him in.