Used To

you used to love her,

when you didn't know the real her

you loved the idea of who she portrayed

what you didn’t know,

is that she was pretending to be someone everyone wanted;

just to feel wanted

every time she showed a piece of the real her,

it got frowned upon

she didn't like that feeling: not being liked for who she really was

so she was shut off

shut off from everyone she knew who didn't know her

you continued to fall more & more for the fake her,

the her that she hated,

but everyone else loved

she realized she needed to change that

for her and not for anyone else

so she left,

exited out of your life

when you reached out to her,

she didn't reply;

she replied in the sense that she answered you,

but she didn’t reply how you wanted her to

she was a new being

new to you, that is

this was the her she had been wanting to let free all her life,

now she finally could

you noticed what was happening,

and you didn’t like how this “new her” was

you tried desperately to bring the old her back

failure after failure,

you lost her

she was finally thriving

living out her best life

being herself

after all this time

you watched from the sidelines,

wondering where and why she went wrong

you had her puzzle solved,

and she just shattered it;

into a million little pieces

just like that:

all your hard work,

thrown right out the window

not fair, right?

who is this person?

why is she doing this?

weren’t we perfect?

why mess with perfection?

perfection?

what is that?

the real perfection is:

a girl who was unhappy with who she pretended to be in the past,

has changed herself for the better

the better being, the real her

no

her version of perfection wasn't what you saw

or what you wanted to see

her version wasn’t real

your version was the way to go

so you tried to bring back the version of the girl you fell for

you think who she is now,

is just a fake persona she puts on because you aren’t around anymore;

and that having you back around,

would bring that past girl back

that girl is so gone

now you know her,

the real her;

you saw for yourself who she really is

and you didn’t like it

so you left

she thought she’d be hurt when she noticed you were gone

yes, you were here physically;

emotionally though,

you couldn't have been more gone,

and she was okay with that

she didn't need you,

or your validation anymore

she is finally hers,

and nobody else’s

you used to love her,

when you didn’t know the real her

⇎ac