Undear

I would try to tell you

how long it took to

find the love

inside myself again,

but that would require

me to remember

things I still hate, which

stings with heartache,

because I am convinced

I deserved better than

whatever you gave.

Forever didn’t seem

so long when

spending it

alongside someone who

tried to see the universe

in my eyes,

until I realized

all you had been was a

falsehood feigning affection

for the sake of companionship,

not wanting to risk loneliness.

Undear, you never

cared about the stirrings

in my brain,

all the things

I mused about late at

night. What a mindless

game we played

pretending we were made

for each other

before ever knowing ourselves.

I would try to tell you

how long it took to

love myself again,

but you

don’t deserve it.

Those kinds of secrets

belong only to those

passionate enough

to search for

the universe

in my eyes.