Two-ingredient recipe for self-destructing

Self-destruction is used to describe addictions like drug abuse and gambling.

Everything that is so painfully clear to outsiders’ eyes, looking in on a broken life.

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But what about those who live so far within their minds they can’t admire all that is occurring around them?

Doomed to destroy it all .

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When everything around you screams to be appreciated, and you fail to do so, you can be sure the good will make its way out of your life .

Only for you to miss it when it’s all gone.

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I’ve been there, standing in the eye of my childhood dream

pacing around the eternal city,

The way I had always imagined.

I was there, but not really,

lost in a sea of problems that didn’t quite exist .

My only regret is not cherishing those fleeting moments I now lust over

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I have learned that dwelling on the past and obsessing about the future is a two-ingredient recipe for self-destructing.

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You are exactly where you’ve dreamt of being

So be here

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I wrote this after clearly realizing that I had been long caught in a destructive cycle. Always seeking the next thing, wishing I was elsewhere - neglecting all that is around me. Now.

Even when I find myself living the dream I had when I was a child. Still, I could not completely appreciate what I had achieved because I wasn't seeing it as the achievement that it was. Unable to be grateful for the present moment. The relationships I had built, the places I visited, and the person I had become.

My younger self would have been so proud. She is so proud.

This is your reminder to look around and appreciate where you have come from, to appreciate the only moment in time that is promised - NOW.