Tunnel Vision
Acrostic Distraction
Damp and dark inside the walls:
I lay on the dirt bed you made for me, when I dared
Shift my eyes away from you for a moment
Toward shinier things, toward the lighted
Rainbow -
And with the sadistic speed of the monster I loved, you
Covered me deep in soil
To restrict my vision -
I see now
Only your dancing with the
Nocturnal shadows within my narrowed view.
About the Creator
KJ Aartila
A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.
My Substack
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Comments (11)
Really great, I didn't realize it was an acrostic at all until I read the previous comment. Expert take on the buried alive theme. Poe would love it!
This is stunning, Keila. Dark, heartbreaking, but incredibly well-written. Some beautiful word and phrase choices and it is just the right length and has the right pace. I also felt distracted from it being an acrostic because I was so engrossed by your words! Loved it!
Very well written!
Buried alive!
It was good!
Gorgeous, Keila! I really admire your structure here 😍 Your words are beautiful and this is sooo compelling 🥹
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK💜
Oh wow, that was dark and so beautifully penned. What a great entry, Keila!
Great take on the challenge and a superb image
Like a shining awareness of death this poem is
It's so beautiful and yet sad. Makes me think back to the days of my first unhappy moment. Thank you for sharing.