Told, Left Unsaid

"Told, Left Unsaid"

Poem derived from my first completed journal, Black and Blue (2018-2019). Written May 22nd 2018.

~~~~~~~

Little do you know

That you are being thanked

For being that one little ounce of push

I need to project my truth

Tonight in a room filled with

Unfamiliar faces:

Your actions rehashed harsh words

That cut deep like an open wound

That doesn’t bleed

Because all you see is raw tissue covering the bone.

But what would I do

Without your ability to motivate me

To retell the truth that I share

With millions of strangers

Who love my soul,

Without knowing who my mortal body is?

In enunciating each consonant and emphasizing each vowel,

I stitched up the wound,

That needed urgent care my bullshit insurance couldn’t cover.

It made me realize that

My greatest misconception

Was thinking your hands were my holistic medicine,

When they were more like

Sickness prevention pills

That these money-hungry

Pharmaceutical companies restock and refill

So you can keep coming back when your body

Can no longer take the withdrawal:

I thought I’d finally be cured,

But I’m left swallowing your lies

And deceit, leaving me even weaker,

Dependent,

As addicted as ever.

Thanks to you,

I sit here with a new-found addiction.

All these words told,

But left unsaid,

My healing is in this blue ink,

On these black lines,

Within these off white pages,

A beautiful painting,

Left unfinished.