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The masked man I've come to know

by Yosef Moshe Chaim 13 days ago in sad poetry

My feelings of love, happiness, pain, and deceit

The masked man I've come to know
Photo by Maico Pereira on Unsplash

Sublime and sweet is you.

Your love has sustained me and made me beyond passionate.

Leaders can call out and make their speeches, but none like me when I am in your corner singing praises.

It shouldn't be, but I worship the ground you walk on.

Jealousy and rage course through my vessels and veins.

Men are everywhere and they all want a 'lil piece of you.

These are the pieces I've yearned to gain.

Segments of wonder that I've deserved and craved.

Yet you speak of them!

You tell me their looks, their states, their pasts.

I know your histories, your journeys, your humor, your enjoyments.

This kills me like a knife to the chest.

Slashing and stabbing, my blood running cold and puddled to a hot steaming concrete abyss.

Yet you bring it up!

Lest time and time again you repeat your nature, preventing my happiness.

I cry! I beg! I scream! I bawl my eyes, snot running, sneezing, choking.

I tell you to stop!

I inquire clearly.

But you mention them and your interest lacks in me, except for when it doesn't.

How dare you draw me in, only to cast me back out.

You smile and beam, but bulleting is your anger.

You cuss me! You accuse me! You yell! You grit! You chastise! You stop me from being myself.

I thought you loved me!

Our marriage of one, forever and always.

Remember when you said it wasn't for our kind?

G-d looks down on us!

Your relatives see us!

The Public sees us!

An anointed false prophet you call to sees us!

Hell of unforgiving attributes is wailing and waiting.

A feather to tip the scale, a straw to break the camel's backside.

You weren't ever ready to be a father.

Your rage limited you.

Yet you say let's born a son not of our own.

An old son!

Not an infant of our own raise!

Barely even an actual child.

He can't be like me and embrace my heritage.

He is to only be like you!

Talk like you!

Know your kin!

But you say our love to them is the gravest of indifference, ignorance, and sin.

So why would we ever let our child come unto and cling to them.

Those who squander, misunderstand, and hate!

Ones who morphed you, religious hypocrites!

You say you love me!

There's no one, but me.

Then why do you anguish at my quirks?

When I call you out for your mean streak, you label them as yours.

My personality is an embarrassing shame.

Yours, however, is never to blame.

I wish you told people about us.

I only wish your family could know.

I dream of a day when you aren't ashamed of us.

A time where we can frolic, smile, and play.

Holding hands, kissing, and being ourselves.

A closet is a closet, not a prison or hell!

Get out, get out!

While you still can!

If you love me please!

We must withstand!

I wish you didn't attack me and make me hide.

All this confusion and admiration I shove inside.

Touch me, but don't!

Love me, but don't!

I want you, but not them!

Get over yourself!

I will never know!

I will never appreciate!

You're a dream, but also an abuse.

You my interesting boy,

are the MASKED MAN I'VE COME TO KNOW!

sad poetry
Yosef Moshe Chaim
Yosef Moshe Chaim
Read next: La Luna
Yosef Moshe Chaim

Gay, Jewish-American, Poet & Content Creator

Creator of the Official Jewish Journeys Instagram page, Bonfire storefront of same name, and free verse poet on homosexuality, various life, and Judaism

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