The Fleeting Love That Never Was

I’m a failure of an old man.

Despite the family all around me, I still yearn only for her.

The fleeting love that never was – she passed by as the leaves do in the wind.

I can feel myself breaking down; like a machine whose rusted gears are fusing together.

Despite the love all around me, I still think only of her.

Where is she now? Does she have children as I do? Grandchildren? Has she followed her dreams, or failed as I have?

I wonder if she’s found the love that she always wanted, unlike myself who longed only for her.

Out my window I watch the clouds. They gather in preparation for the imminent rain.

As my grandchildren play beside me, I lament my failure. I didn’t pursue her for the risks seemed too dire.

The fleeting love that never was. She waited as long as she could for me. Will I see her this time tomorrow? Or perhaps years from now? Did she erase me from her mind as I attempted to do to her?

My bones ache; like an aging machine whose bolts are loosening. The pain however, is incomparable to what I’ve experienced for so many years – the pain of losing the fleeting love that never was.

The rain falls now, as do my tears. What would she have said? Would she have accepted? I’ll never know the life that could have been created between us.

Even with the love of my family surrounding me, I can’t help but wish for hers.

I’m a failure of an old man. All because I failed to pursue the fleeting love that never was.