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The Evolution of Me

by Natasha Penn about a year ago in performance poetry · updated 3 months ago
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The Colors of My Life

Personal Energy Painting by Xandra Winters (@lunar-witches on Tumblr)

"What's your favorite color?"

A staple question from everyone's childhood;

A cliché icebreaker with an open-ended answer.

An insight into one's soul that none of us ever really understood.

Mine was green in every shade. It was everywhere.

The bold color of lush grass of an unkempt lawn, a gloomy contrast to the abandoned home it often marked, interrupted by a sign with a warning to keep out.

The dappled color most associated with frogs and turtles and lizards; all favorites of mine, all misunderstood creatures.

The vibrant color of my baby iguanas, clinging to my shirt and drifting off to sleep as my fingers rubbed their scalps.

But nothing lasts forever.

As time passed, my view on color seemed to shift.

My life grew darker, colder.

My spirits just would not lift

As I grew up, became older,

I came to prefer the dull charcoal black hoodie I found at Hot Topic, depicting a band I had only heard a few times.

I fell head over heels for the sheen of black ink; for the feel of a ballpoint pen as it glided across an accepting surface. Lined paper, white binders, bare skin.

I couldn't stop the desire to doodle contrasting patterns and monsters on my left arm. Optical illusions, sharp-toothed creations, checkerboard patterns.

But there was always one color that caught my eye.

A blend of two beautiful, royal shades

Lightened to a pale pastel that'll make you sigh.

My love for it has only grown in recent decades.

A mixture so bittersweet that I could cry:

I always liked periwinkle; the mix of two colors I had always admired. Of ice blue and lilac.

I always loved the softness; it reminded me of a bundle of lavender and baby's breath, of small bouquets to welcome a newborn.

Purple, blue, and black.

For some, they signify bruised flesh.

Sometimes that's all I see when I think back.

Sometimes you need to restart, to refresh.

My favorite color is pastels. It's sweet rainbows, rays of sunshine, and bubbles. It's black ink on bare skin. It's blue jeans and black sneakers. It's pastel hoodies and livid purple paintings.

I like purple, blue, and black... And I don't think I can change that.

What's your favorite color?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.

Thank you for reading!

Personal Energy Painting by Xandra Winters (@lunar-witches)

Graphic made at Canva

performance poetry

About the author

Natasha Penn

Latinx, genderfluid, parent Author, blogger, & freelance writer. Working on my book series: Saturn Rising, Book One: Aquarius. Will post my poetry, short stories, and fiction series here.

Linktree

Avatar: @oveikeii

Banner art: @midluuna

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