The Ear

Prologue:

I know it is hard to get on the things we thought its meant for us, but in reality, its not for us, its just our mind made up the thought that it is.

Phase 1

I was tired of jumping from one guy to another,

I always told you why im so sure with you, i need and i want an affection i always seeking of, im tired of pretending to be someone else with anybody, you gave me the affection i was looking for at the first months we’ve been together, im drooling out the expectation until i cant sure which one is real and which one is my daydreaming.

When i make u uncomfortable and make mistakes while we were going to meet, it makes u lose ur mood in sudden, u prefer to cancel our meeting, yet when u hurt me, you didnt cancel your schedule with ur friends, u laugh, and having fun.

Do our meeting and quality time only for the sake of obligation due to our relationship? It doesnt make ur day feel better or make u happier when u with me.

Every time i didnt get ur text or call it makes me furious, i tried to find out where u are what you've been up to, if i senses ur not in a mood i always try to find out why even though i have to go from place to place just to meet u and hoping i could make u feel better, but you never do the same to me, you acting all cold each day.

If my absence doesnt alter/impact your life, then my existence has no meaning to you.

Phase 2

I know your life and your friends are your priority, more than anything in the world,

But i need someone who needs me too, who willingly put their priority on me, im tired of giving my own self-affection, saying everything is alright and i can do anything, but what's the point of having a relationship?

Ive willingly put u as my priority above anything, and i know im a fool for you, but i kept telling myself if its all worth it, you are worth it for me, but do i worth doing it? Do i worth it for you?

Show me if you really need me,

Show me if you really love me,

Show me if you really put me as your priority,

Show me if you really wanted something serious with me,

Show me if you really are worth for me to fight for.

Phase 3

Thinking about the future with u somehow makes me happy, i know we will struggle, but its happy.

But i put my expectation too high on things.

You will never change if you wont change it yourself,

You will never be ready if you dont want to try it.

Phase 4

Im not jealous when you text your friends, especially women, i just dont like the effort you make just to talk to them, you are willing to do things for them just to keep the conversation, i know thats fun, but the effort u gave is way bigger than when u talk to me. When you still use the words i dont like when you talk to them when you stay up to talk to them when you were talking to me and u delay to respond my text when you text them and say u were bored u need someone to talk to. It hurts me. A Lot. So what am i for you?

I barely have someone to talk to, because I dont trust any other else.

Phase 5

There are a lot of things i would like to say, but i couldnt say it in front of your eyes.

The water is getting colder,

The sand is getting thicker,

The wind is getting sharper,

The bed is getting lower.

I need my time until you show me you really worth it and need me. I know its selfish, however, i also need time to show me if i really am worth for you and if i really need you in my life.

End