The cold wasn't nearly as bitter
The Christmas lights sparkled a little brighter
The sleep was so much more peaceful
The smile wasn't a front, my spirit was lighter
I was finally present in the moment
Not planning the future or regretting the past
Is this the "happiness" thing I've heard about?
I caught myself wondering if I'd found it at last
I started to feel alive, not just existing
It's been so long since I haven't felt like fleeing
Not a doormat, not a burden, maybe even appreciated
I remembered what it's like to feel like a human being
For decades I daydreamed about it
But I could tell myself I'm over romanticizing how it would be
The time together only confirmed it was what I want
Which is really unfortunate for me
I got a taste of what life could be
It was rich and sweet, but then I started to choke
It was a trailer for an epic movie never to be released
Just a teaser or a punch line for some grand cosmic joke
I had to question the diagnoses and now it's harder
To keep telling myself it's not because my life is in disarray
Since most of the symptoms disappear when I'm there
It takes most of my excuses away
Now I'm missing you like crazy
The pain is physical too, beyond just feeling depressed
Feels like Kano got a hold of my heart and ripped it out
Right before an elephant sat on my chest
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