Swimming

Black and white grain

Varnished my fetal eyes

My hair was thin, like me

And fair from the sun

I felt tranquil in that thick

Mississippi air

Comfortable and

Floating in the gray

I loved the way it felt

To just float, really

But I wanted to feel

The way it felt to drown

To slip into the water

As if it were an accident

So I did

But I did not cry or contend

I kept sinking down

I remember the

Rippling blanket above me

It suffocated

Each word out of my mouth

Smothering every letter I

Attempted to mutter

An effervescence

Rising to the

Shimmering surface

My mother tells me

I was under only for

A second

But who is she to determine

Such insignificance

And drown the

Memory of my death

I laugh at her naivety

Because down there

My back faced the void

And my eyes the sun

And I was content with

The sound of my own silence

And the warmth that engulfed me

I was in the center

Of absolutely nothing

Not living or breathing

Just drifting

How could my mother think

I would not want to stay

She pulled me through the surface

And I died

As I breathed in the air

Of an impure world

That was tarnished with somber reds

And melancholic blues

My youthful innocence

Was left in the gray pool

Of nothingness

Like an emulsion

Of oil and water

Floating