Sunday

As I began filing down my nails and overthinking my next weekly color

I had flashbacks of my younger years as a mother

A Sunday routine set aside for a busy, overwhelmed woman to show the world she tries

To cover up any moments of insecurities that were clearly shown by the bags under her eyes

Behind the hustle and bustle of life and making sure her kids had what they felt they needed

Forcing minutes in a day for her own-self care without guilt or feeling her children are being cheated

Robbed of time that maybe should have been spent focused on only them

But it was important my nails looked fancy as I picked up that pen

To let the corporate world believe I could be sexy, smart, and a well-put-together single mom

When it was me, myself and I... I was bullshitting all along

Now as I sat here in a different state, so far away, completing the same weekly task

It suddenly felt okay to be sitting here doing, just as I used to do... without feeling the need to hide behind some mask

I was doing well here and that was more than just okay... it was the best news of all

For once in my life, I was looking forward to the future, in a world where I didn't have to hide behind an emotional wall

My past was aligning with my current state in ways I maybe didn't understand but fully felt aware

This new chapter I was writing was turning out epic... and for once

I was allowing me, myself and I, to welcomingly inhale the fresh air