It shouldn’t surprise me, but like death it doesn’t matter how much you try to prepare, know it is going to happen eventually, you forget for a moment, for a period of time but in the end you always end up alone again.
I feel so much that the loss consumes me.
My emotions are amplified to the max.
Being alone again can also be good I try to tell myself but for a while it is just sadness and loneliness.
It takes a while to let the pain go, crying helps.
Release those emotions, let them flood out, the river will run dry.
Each time it happens the pain gets deeper but every time I manage to climb higher than before.
I get to a place where I think I will never let this happen to me again but I guess it will.
Love is lovely for a while and it fills you with hope that happy ever after really is possible.
Then the tide becomes a tsunami and you are washed around until you almost die.
If you are lucky you live.
You live so you can experience it all again one day, it is inevitable.
Even when I tell myself no, I fall for the trap.
Happy alone but love finds a crack to crawl into.
Last time I made a conscious choice to go with it.
Short time fun and forget the consequences, a summer romance.
But being here right now, alone again, I wish I had more control.
We say we cant control who we fall in love with but we can, I have to next time.
I am alone again and this time I don’t want it.
I want you and pray you come back to me.
You have left a hole.