Stay with Me

Today you gave me a great big hug.

I savored it.

My heart aches.

I breathe in your sent.

I mentally bookmark

this warmth.

You say I am yours and her baby.

You say it with a smile

that emphasizes your pride.

You say it to reassure me

of my greatness.

She's gone.

I found the envelope for the last

birthday card she wrote to me,

and cried for an hour.

I have so much regret left

from the day she left me.

I can't imagine feeling this way for you.

I don't want to feel this way for you.

I love your "have a good day" text.

I love you laugh and your chuckles.

I love car rides with you.

Today I was faced with your mortality.

You lost your train of thought

in the middle of your story,

not for the first time.

I always love your stories.

Even if you can't remember

I just let me be in the room with you.

Do you remember driving me to school

those mornings in '12?

I was always running late.

Do you remember buying me art supplies?

Do you remember sitting in your bed

drawing together?

Today I was reminded of your mortality,

and it echos in my head.

All I ask for is for one more hug,

one more laugh,

and one more car ride.

I hope the hug

lasts forever.

I hope the laugh

echos in the halls.

I hope the car

never runs out of gas