Poets logo

Splinter

Reprise

By Haley LadnerPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
Like

Hey! Long time no see, do you have any tweezers? I feel the need to reveal something embedded deep within me.

I need you to see that I'm no longer on the brink of insanity. I can dance, move and shake my hips so seductively. I can have a good time and even sing poetry written by yours truly.

It took me a while to be unapologetically me, and for that I apologize profusely!!! From the bottom of my heart, the deepest of apologies. All I know now is sincerity and it is crystallizing clarity. Life is too short to be stuck in oblivion, so laugh it on up and be your own comedian.

But, nothing makes me happier than realizing you helped me, set me free.

Everything I do reminds me of --

OUCH! I've got a splinter--

Reminds me of rainy winters with you.

In the back of my mind I'm in the parking lot of that KFC. My heart racing, texting my friends, wondering who you were going to be. Being so girly and dorky because OH EM GEE it's another silly boy!

Nothing could have prepared me for the bombs you were to deploy. My heart, my brain, both choking and wheezing from smoke and joy.

Do I continue? Feels like a double dog dare. I nose dive head over heels, but did you check out that sick air? Wind blowing through my blonde hair, didn't have a clue or a care.

Saw the lines, but too hot and blind to focus on the fine print in between.

December Seventh Twenty Eighteen

Somewhere along the way I signed over the deed to my soul. It could have been when you took me home, or perhaps when you sucked on my toes-

No-- OUCH!

This splinter, I'm not making sense--

Maybe it was that rainy day, you carried me from the car to the door. Or when you held my hand to your forehead on your front porch after spanking that bad, baby girl.

OR when you gave me a ride to my CAT scan and I was so scared, but you let me know I had no reason to fear, while you kissed my cheek. Was more than enough to have me melting in the waiting room seats.

Perhaps when you gifted me the silver spoon ring. An heirloom, broken, left to me and you replaced it ever so romantically. Thinking you were my grand prize, you must be!

I remember when you came to visit my friend. You pulled out your guitar and the singing commenced. We were all so hypnotized by your serenade. Ever since then they were cheering your name.

So happy for me.

You steadily had me in a daze, even to this very day.

Alas, you went away.

A scam, I was right and was so willing to fight.

I wanted to spit knives and cause wounds. I wanted to say anything to hurt you. I know that was silly of me and I was burning out, so clear to see. Still, after everything, I so desperately wanted you to be with me. Blinded, a wish that came from my own misery.

An attempt to somehow make me more pleasing to myself, I suppose, at least that's my theory.

I needed to find me and understand loves meaning and how it's supposed to be. I needed to grow. Whether it be with him or you or her or me. Found myself in situations where I needed to flee. In places that scared me, seared me, convinced myself I was free when really I was shackled to my old ways.

A glutton, clear as day.

Oh!

I think I've almost got it--

OW! Still so sensitive-

This splinter strikes a nerve--

It took me a while to be unapologetically me, and for that I apologize profusely. I look back on how I reacted to you and I feel like such a fool for being so cruel. I think you're so cool and in this whole wide world, there's no one like you.

Everyone I've met since has a shadow cast on them that resembles you. Subconsciously I do comparisons and I know I shouldn't because isn't it unhealthy? Maybe even obsessive?

Your ability to be so loving, daring, and care free while simultaneously reciting scripture from the book of Christianity. It was an honor to share a connection with you, even if together it was temporary. A brief moment in history that effected my perspective permanently.

I know for you it was only momentarily monetary, and perhaps you never even looked back or had a thought of me.

But

I've been stuck here for what feels like an eternity, letting you take up space in my mind rent free.

You've left an everlasting impression on me.

You've inspired me in every way, I'm creating art that's emotionally charged from my experiences every single day.

Anyway, I think I'm close to getting it all out-

OUCH!

I'm filled with regret because I was the worst version of me I could possibly be. Pretty close to the edge of insanity. Filled with rage, scribbling on every single page looking for some remedy. Something that would make YOU feel better about me. Hard to do when my vision was skewed.

I rarely pout, and I'm never filled with doubt. Any problems I have, they're so much easier to sort out. I don't play the blame game, or bask in the idea that I'm another helpless dame. Thinking having a man will help me win the game. I think things through and only proclaim things I know, deep down, are true.

This is all to say, I hope your happily ever after has been treating you well. I try not to dwell on the past, but I have thoughts and feelings I'm unable to quell. So much time has passed and still I wonder. Many nights convincing myself its best to drift off to slumber.

I would never step on toes out of respect to you and your relationship.

The sensation I get at the idea of a reconciliation...

Oh my. I need to stop.

I adore you too much to stir the pot, and I'm aware that its only me on this abandoned ship. I will always be here, letting whoMEver guides my course take steer.

I wish I could find someone like you out here.

Our memories, I will always cherish and keep them near and dear.

I love everything along the way that has helped shape me into the woman I'm supposed to be. Including you, isn't that sweet?

-I still can't get the splinter out. I think its embedded too deep.

-It's a part of me now. No, don't worry. I can't feel it and I am not going to weep.

-- Here are your tweezers back. Oh? They're for me to keep? Thank you.

love poems
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.