Spider Wonder
a poem by @philosopherbonnie
Dearest spider,
We met only briefly,
But you seemed nice enough.
Burly, thick, glossy black, fast -
I thought you were quite lovely,
Actually.
I tried to be good to you -
Realizing that my next actions,
Or inaction,
Could mean life or death to you.
I wanted to take a shower,
A privileged act -
I know.
A potentially long life for you -
If I help well,
Or a potentially short,
Maybe even tortured life,
If I get it wrong.
What does a good life mean to a spider?
If I wanted to "walk right" here,
How should I intervene?
You ran from the nice clean jar
I was going to take you outside in -
Were you afraid?
Do you have any concept of kindness from a human?
Am I the first human you’ve met?
I think I might have hurt your leg
When you ran -
I didn't mean to hurt you at all,
I was truly trying to help,
But I saw you limped about for a bit
And was sad you'd experienced pain anyway.
I wasn't wanting to be cruel.
I sat for a minute thinking about what to do -
Not wanting to torture you more
By scaring you, either.
I am so big,
And you are so small -
And I don’t understand your world,
And you wandered into mine,
Into danger.
I spoke to you in a language you don’t understand,
Telling you my plans.
Praying you’d do effective self-care.
I angled the shower head down so it would miss you,
And adjusted the valve so it wouldn’t gush.
You got farther out of the way -
Your leg seemed better.
I was careful not to splash you -
I was glad to see you were moving about,
I hoped the mist felt refreshing
During my speedy quick shower.
I was sad to find you later in a little puddle,
Unmoving.
I'd hoped you'd dry out and find your way out,
But I think you died,
Because of my privilege.
Is this what being a non-omniscient god is like?
Doing the best you can with what you know,
Getting it wrong so easily -
Deeply humbled by it all?
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