Somewhere In-between

I know what it’s like

To be an afterthought,

To be living

In the shadows

Of someone else’s life…

To be fed

The leftovers of love

When it’s convenient,

As if crumbs

Should be enough

To sustain my love.

But I also know

What it’s like

To be in the spotlight,

To overcast the shine

In someone else’s eyes,

Even if unintentionally.

And I hate

That part of me…

The side that needs

To be noticed,

But not close enough to show

That my wearied seams

Are stitched together

With insecurity.

The side that needs validation

But not too much,

Because I associate a weight

With receiving praise.

I have walked

The contradictory story lines

Of both the forgotten

And the favored,

And I still haven’t found

A balance between

What suits my needs.

So,

I will forge my own home

For these contrary bones

Where I can hang my name

Without anxiety or shame.

Somewhere in between

Invisible and seen.