Someone Spot Me

Since I was old enough to stand I could feel the weight on my shoulders,

Even then the dire and the chaos made them feel as boulders.

Mere years later I could sense mother and father were just around to get high,

Every single time social services would come but the years would just fly by.

For once they both decided to try and choose me over their other love,

The weight they left on my from the proceeding divorce left a huge size above.

I decided to move in with mom for she seemed to need my support,

She got remarried and I thought that might mean happiness for her.

The man she married was a monster though for that I can be sure,

Not long after he has all but destroyed the family within mom was broken.

I took the weight of it all and grasped her in with all I could completely unspoken.

Only weeks later I found her in the bathroom with pools of blood putting patterns in the tile,

She slit her wrist little care for me - was I even the child?

Everyone my entire life acted like I needed to be there for them for everything no matter the cost, hurt or sacrifice to me,

Come to find out that person I was to them isn't real - at least not for me.

I escaped into the chemical help whose been the only one whose really given me any escape,

Sometimes just zones out all my weights from others - other times it's like being able to fly with a cape.

Eventually members of family come saying they don't want me to die in my current state,

I honestly can't tell if they even love me or I love me or if it's total consuming hate.

I cry some tears despite it all while they try to get me to go to treatment - to what I simply say you're too late.