So sad, So sad

"So sad, so sad

You're always just so sad

Good God

*deep sigh*

Who am I,

to be so proud,

to say these things

I think out loud

I should be sad,

be sad,

be sad right beside you

But the longer I sit sad with you

the harder it becomes

to find my way out

of the hell your all about

So how long,

how long,

how long must I sit and stay

In wake

In silence

Watching you waste away

I'm supposed to never leave

To stand with you through it all

But you refuse

to come out, come out

come out and be happy

Your comfort with your sorrow

Your solace in your pain

Is keeping you standing

in your self produced rain

As long as you continue

to be stubborn standing still

I cannot compete

with your strong will

I just want to be free,

be free,

be free to be me

But I'm torn

I don't want to be

another excuse for you

to use, to continue

to keep wallowing

in the long gone you

So worn, so worn,

so worn am I

Long before you,

I will surely die."

"I have skeletons in my closet

Things I've never said

Things I've already done

That I’ll never tell anyone

I've truly almost lost it

By the life I've chose to lead

But my secrets are my secrets

until I have no blood left to bleed

If I've broke anyone's heart

or ripped their life apart

by the things I've done out of greed

I can only say

I've been selfish

A little unruly

This I know truly

So my closets where my things will stay

There will be no other way

They will not pop their heads out

and waggle a bony finger

In my closet is where they must linger

Linger there and be repressed

and never consciously addressed

These skeletons in my closet

they will pile up and tower over

but still I'll bury them lower and lower

Till one day,

near my death I suppose

I will let myself be fully exposed

bones and all."

"So many things you’ve done in anger

Have caused rippled pain

to even the innocent stranger

Multiplying unhappy

Like a virus

Infectious

Quite the spread to see

Filling everyone's insides

With what you’re trying to hide

Aren’t you exhausted

Your mind never turning off

Running marathon after marathon

To keep your virus moving along

Then you lie awake in your bed

Thoughts drifting in-n-out your head

Never sleeping

Never dreaming

Constantly thinking

Of the

Coulda

Woulda

Shoulda

Hasn't, maybe

Needs to be

You’d love it to be

But can it be?

It has to be

Laughably

Said…

Thus

Creating rivers of tears

Not oceans of smiles

You flat-line them all

With sadness for miles

Delivering jaded big pictures

Encouraging close-minded

tunnel vision scriptures

While inducing selective hearing

Then disappearing

to reappear when you want

Never making it clean and clear

Thriving on confusion and fear

At best you beat around the bush

Pick and choose through selective say

Wanting all to feel a certain way

Is any of it really working?

Apparently

Because we've become accepting

Of the sadness that ripples from your

deception."

"Sniff, sniff

Blow, blow

All hell,

what do you know?

This is my life

This is how I choose to live it

If you're going to stand by me

You have to let me be

Waa, waa!

Boo, hoo!

I guess what you say is true

but I don't give up

I won't give in

This is how I chose to win

I know I may do wrong

But this is how I continue on

to stay alive

What it takes for me to survive

It takes all I've got

to know what I'm doing,

know what I'm saying

But I make my own decisions

I take what comes with them

I guess I’m sick

I make excuses

And never clean up

All my messes

But…

This is my life

This is how I choose to live it

If you're going to stand by me

You have to let me be."

"There is a place inside of me

I never knew existed

A place where goodbye lives

In this place, innate inside me,

I never knew of what it consisted

This place where goodbye lives

This place was my ignorance,

dormant until despair

terribly inconsistent

I was foolish to try to resist it

This place inside of me,

This place where goodbye lives

In this place my throat may close,

tears may stream past my nose,

time may stop,

my world may drop,

my mind may bail,

communication may fail

of conditions that may prevail

becoming momentarily persistent

But...

I'm insistent

It'll be OK

It will pass

For in this place where goodbye lives

"Goodbye"

Knows its purpose, its task

And I accept it, at last."