Sixteen

When I was seven,

I thought being sixteen meant

that I would be the popular cheerleader with the cool car;

the girl everyone liked.

I wish I could go back to that state of mind.

When I was thirteen,

I didn't think I would make it to sixteen.

with the thoughts of suicide dancing through my head,

turning sixteen didn't seem likely.

And now I'm sixteen,

and I'm scared.

because yes, I am here,

but not how I expected it.

I didn't think I would make it this far,

but I did,

and now I don't know what to do.