Silence

I've heard it said that silence can be loud.

For a long time, I never truly understood what this meant.

It wasn't until I'd lost someone that I would truly comprehend.

Their memory brings me contemplation.

I wonder may things.

Is it worse to have lost someone to the cold hand of death, or is it worse that they chose to walk away?

I believe it is the latter.

With death, there isn't a choice but to be silent.

You can't reach out, you can't say anything.

When someone walks away, that silence becomes a choice.

It isn't that you can't respond, but rather you decided that you won't.

After this, I ponder the reasons.

Is it spite? Am I just another mistake? Am I not worth even a simple conversation after all this time?

I didn't come back to remedy past loves.

I didn't reach out to fix a past that I can't even remember.

Perhaps I just wanted to make sure you were happy.

To see if life brought you somewhere better than before.

To see if life brought you something better than myself.

I don't blame you for not responding, even though it hurts.

I suppose I had my conversation.

Your silence speaks louder than words.