I usually get a good week out of you
without silence when I come back
Ignoring me is par for the course at this point,
so it's not just that
I tell you I miss you and ask when I can see you again
you change the subject of the conversation
As usual I'm not at a high enough level of respect
to deserve clear or regular communication
I can't be an actual part of your life
God forbid anyone know you're slumming it with me
Maybe I should just back off, but I'm not
letting you squirm your way out of it so easily
Maybe I should take a hint, but you
are too articulate to just make me guess
It's hard to differentiate between silences
of the many feelings you don't express
Is it the busy and tired silence
and you just don't have the time?
Is it the you just don't care about me at all silence
so responding slips your mind?
Is it the dejected and withdrawn silence
and you need to be left alone with my thoughts and prayers?
Is it the depressed and lonely silence
and you need reminders to know someone cares?
Is it the I said something wrong silence
and I need to go through every message and overanalyze?
Is it the I did something wrong without realizing silence
and I need to apologize?
Is it the you found someone else silence
and you're trying to figure out how to break the bad news?
Is it the after a week with me you realized you can't stand me silence
and you just wish I leave you alone but I refuse?
Is it the let me ghost her and be distant silence
just hoping that I'll get it and stop the text and calls?
Is it the taking time to calculate a plan silence
to figure out how to kick my ass to the curb once and for all?
I can't read your mind
I have no idea what you're feeling or thinking about
I wonder if last time it was just the grief talking
when I thought it was the truth coming out.
Sometimes I ask myself why I should bother
when I can't even tell if you if you really care about me
Then I feel like Lauryn Hill asking
who I have to be to get some reciprocity.
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