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Silence

January 2021

By N. ThomasPublished 3 years ago 1 min read
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Silence
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

I usually get a good week out of you

without silence when I come back

Ignoring me is par for the course at this point,

so it's not just that

I tell you I miss you and ask when I can see you again

you change the subject of the conversation

As usual I'm not at a high enough level of respect

to deserve clear or regular communication

I can't be an actual part of your life

God forbid anyone know you're slumming it with me

Maybe I should just back off, but I'm not

letting you squirm your way out of it so easily

Maybe I should take a hint, but you

are too articulate to just make me guess

It's hard to differentiate between silences

of the many feelings you don't express

Is it the busy and tired silence

and you just don't have the time?

Is it the you just don't care about me at all silence

so responding slips your mind?

Is it the dejected and withdrawn silence

and you need to be left alone with my thoughts and prayers?

Is it the depressed and lonely silence

and you need reminders to know someone cares?

Is it the I said something wrong silence

and I need to go through every message and overanalyze?

Is it the I did something wrong without realizing silence

and I need to apologize?

Is it the you found someone else silence

and you're trying to figure out how to break the bad news?

Is it the after a week with me you realized you can't stand me silence

and you just wish I leave you alone but I refuse?

Is it the let me ghost her and be distant silence

just hoping that I'll get it and stop the text and calls?

Is it the taking time to calculate a plan silence

to figure out how to kick my ass to the curb once and for all?

I can't read your mind

I have no idea what you're feeling or thinking about

I wonder if last time it was just the grief talking

when I thought it was the truth coming out.

Sometimes I ask myself why I should bother

when I can't even tell if you if you really care about me

Then I feel like Lauryn Hill asking

who I have to be to get some reciprocity.

heartbreak
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About the Creator

N. Thomas

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