She had to kill herself in order to survive

The storm in the sky.

An ocean’s tide.

A mother’s cry, when her child dies.

The laughter of your little boy.

So loud in your head, but so void.

The storm shakes the Earth.

Because it’s so mad, or maybe it’s just really sad.

The ocean’s tide, so tall and wide.

Take a step back, swallow your pride.

This wall you put up is making you numb.

The storm, it brews above your head.

The tide, it seeps inside your bed.

It’ll drown you completely, if you let it.

Get up now, you won’t regret it.

You can’t hold on to yesterday.

For it’s no longer here.

The storm is over.

The tide has died.

A new you is near.

You have to keep going and try to survive.

This is now your life.

A new you is near.

→ This is for all of those parents who have lost children. I have 3 kids and I couldn’t imagine. I grew up and seen my Grandma lose 2 of her babies. One was 25 and the other was 39. I never knew and still don’t know how she never gave up entirely. I don’t think I’d be strong enough to keep moving forward in life. But she has. Her husband, her soul mate if you will, carried her through all of her pain all of those years. When she so suddenly lost him (2018). She lost a another part of herself as well. I couldn’t blame her for being the way that she was, she was still herself at the same time, just a lot more sad. Then she changed.

→The last 2 years, her whole identity changed. Everything I had ever known of her to be as a person entirely, was gone. And she states she had found Jesus. We all thought she found drugs or had a stroke. But the more I watched her change every time I seen her…and the more I read in college (psychology classes) the more I thought maybe she was just changing in general, because she had to. I had read something about when an older person has been through so much pain and loss, they start changing EVERYTHING about themselves. That person who experienced all of that trauma, was no longer around. Obviously, she is still here, but SHE is not here. She can’t be here.

She had to kill herself in order to survive.

I dedicate this to my Grandma. ❤

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